BritBoy's Success
I just wanted to wish all my readers very happy holidays, this year has been great for me...my blog has surpassed all expectations and I hope that it will only get bigger in 2006! I was looking through my site stats and found that my most popular post was nothing to do with being British...
It was about a small cat called Harold who had a big dream....
If you didn't get to read it the first time around then click
HEREThe post really did cause quite a stir including a hefty donation to the Church of Trumpetcat by a reader named Sherrence..Thanks Sherrence! Of course this donation helped her to advance along the spiritual path much quicker and after completing her molecular rundown she will be a Level 2 Trumpetcatist: A whisker disciple.
It doesn't end there though... I also recieved photos of a "Trumpetcat Spiritual Reflection Chamber" installed in a reader's home..even I don't have one of those...(all the foil keeps out negative Kiton waves)
If you would like to speed up your Trumpetcat spiritual discovery or simply wish Harold and myself happy holidays then please feel free to donate to the Church below:
Donating to the church will allow you to better yourself in ways you will have never imagined, your career, love life, finances and friendships will instantly improve becuase the evil remnants of Harold's trumpet will be dislodged from your brian. DONATE TODAY!
DISCLAIMER: I'm lying.
You know you're in L.A. when...
(photo taken from www.anders.com)
I saw this and found it hysterical, and after living here for 4 months I can confirm that almost every one of these is true..
You Know You're in LA When...
You're driving on the 101 and see a clear cut definition of where the smog begins and ends
You go to a karaoke bar and battle with seven year old divas-in-training who are trying to steal your thunder
You're sitting in traffic for at least an hour at any given part of the day
You go to the beach and see that real lifeguards actually do look like the lifeguards from Baywatch
You see purple and gold and the word "Threepeat" on every corner
You begin to "lie" to your friends about where you are (i.e. "Yeah I'm like 20 minutes away") - when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there).
You eat a different ethnic food for every meal
You look around at the nice cars around you during traffic, thinking it'll be your favorite Laker or WB star.
You make a conscious choice to watch Jay Leno over David Letterman
You know it's best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm.
Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes".
You know what neighborhood someone lives in by the degree of damage incurred during the riots.
You've inadvertently learned Spanish.
You've got to bring the cat/plants in when it drops to 55 degrees.
In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.
You've bumped into a celebrity at El Pollo Loco.
You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the five" mean.
Your pizza delivery guy is also on contract with Warner Bros.
If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.
You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.
Your TV show is interrupted by a police chase.
You can't fall asleep without the lull of a helicopter flying overhead.
When tourists ask where they can get souvenirs, you direct them to Venice Beach.
You know someone named Freedom, Rainbow, Persephone or Destiny.
You've trespassed through private property to get to the "Hollywood" sign.
You've partied in Tijuana at least once.
You know Hollywood has a "lake".
You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.
You've lost your car in the Century City Shopping Center parking lot.
You've ever bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp.
You think that Venice is a beach.
You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't even notice.
You've started crossing a street and returned to the curb when the DON'T WALK sign started flashing.
You've never listened to NPR.
Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.
You have a favorite Thai restaurant.
You think Johnny Rocket's is an accurate depiction of a diner.
You think Manhattan is a beach.
You eat pineapple on pizza.
You've been to Disneyland more times than Downtown.
When giving directions , you follow up with the phrase: "With/Without traffic."
You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "310."
Driving along, you see a high-speed police chase approaching in your rear view mirror. You don't panic or even flinch. Instead, you call your friends on your cell phone and tell them you're on TV.
You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a Coffee Bean or a Starbucks.
Your cell phone has left a permanant impression on the side of your head.
You never, ever go into the water at the Beach. You barely touch the sand.
It is not unusual for your waitress at a restaurant to have blue streaked hair, a dragon tattoo and tongue piercing.
You are awakened in the middle of the night by a moderate earthquake. You say, "That ain't even a 5-pointer" and go back to sleep.
You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It don't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason.
You live 10 miles from work. It takes you 60 minutes to get home.
Walking out of Jamba Juice, you see that a movie is being shot on-location across the street.
You are not happy, or even slightly exited that there may be a movie star there. You just say, " They f*ckin better not be blocking my parking space."
You have to yell at your bank teller through a 2 inch thick wall of plexi-glass.
That last one goes for your local convienience store man, too.
You go to Las Vegas for a weekend getaway and the whole trip cost you $50.
You personally know (at least!) 5 people with agents/managers.
You personally know at least 3 people who have been in a movie or TV show.
You know what "In N Out" is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.
You know that not everyone in Beverly Hills is a millionaire.
You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.
You've done something on a street corner in an attempt to get money (i.e. sang, tap danced, told jokes).
You've gotten parking tickets from parking in the red zone in front of your house.
You say you live in LA when really you live in a subsection of a subsection of a subsection of southern LA.
Any major movie star is picking out the best portobello mushrooms next to you at the grocers and you don't notice.
The guy at 8:30 in the morning at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.
You really can never be too rich or too thin.
The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.
The workday starts at 10am...or whenever you get out of your therapy session.
Any invitation comes with, "Starts at 8pm or as soon as you can get through traffic."
You have never met a waiter that wasn't really an "Actor."
You never go to a coffee house without a copy of a script - any script.
It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH '05"
You call 911 and they put you on hold.
You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:30 tae-bo class.
The 3-hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn't caused by a horrific 9 car pile-up, but by everyone slowing to rubberneck at a lost shoe lying on the shoulder.
A nurse can look at you in all seriousness and ask, "you don�t drink or smoke, right?"
All the "cool gyms" allow pedestrians on the street a full-view of those working out. Literally, you can�t drive by Wilshire without staring into L.A. Fitness. Perhaps a new form of window shopping?
The hot seasonal party favor is a candied apple from Neiman's. The apples are called "Skinny Dippers."
The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.
Bars card. For real.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Los Angeles.
More news from Mr. and Mrs Blandy McBland Bland
If Star magazine is to be believed then Jude and Sienna are getting engaged again on Christmas day...and this is allegedly the poem she wrote for him..get ready to barf..
"We've had our ups and downs this year,
But I'm so alone when you're not near,
You make me frown and make me smile,
But I won't be down when we walk up the aisle."
ummm..ok...I wrote a Jude and Sienna poem of my own..
"I stole my style from Kate Moss,
We are both as thin as dental floss,
We are bland and we are dull,
GO AWAY!
Ok, so I got carried away at the end and forgot to rhyme but you get the idea. Anyway in related news Naomi Campbell actually said something that made sense:
"A lot of people compare the actress Sienna Miller to her. (Kate Moss) But I can't stand to hear that. I don't know Sienna Miller but there is no comparison to Kate. I don't like imitations, I like the real thing."
Wow! Now if we could only get Naomi and Sienna in the same room with lots of sharp objects, that would be more entertaining than a wedding.
Love. Angel. Music. Baby!!!
Gwen Stefani has confirmed that she is three months pregnant with her first baby and is set to give birth in June next year. Stefani's husband, British actor Gavin Rossdale is said to be extatic. Rossdale's dad Douglas told America's Us Weekly magazine: "We are delighted."
"The pop babe's mum, Patti, also reportedly confirmed the pregnancy to the magazine. Gwen has made no secret of wanting to start a family with Rossdale, who recently discovered he had fathered a love child with British singer Pearl Lowe, who he dated in the 1980s. Earlier this year Gwen confessed she was dreaming about having children and was prepared to wait as long as it took to get pregnant. She said at the time: "It hasn't happened and that's something that isn't in my control. "I'd like it to happen, of course I would, but I have an amazing husband and the most fulfilling, creative career I ever dreamed of, so I'm not complaining."
Rossdale also appeared to be desperate for another child when he promised Gwen he would take their future baby on tour to give her a break. He said: "I told Gwen if she has a baby, I'll take the child on tour with me to give her a break".
I am so happy for them, I am most excited about Gavin and Gwen's baby over all the other celebrity babies. It has such great genes, I forsee it being beautiful, talented, creative, itelligent and having a great sense of style. Also you know that Gwen and Gavin are going to pick an awesome name for their baby..although if they steal my secret baby name I will hunt them down..
...um..not that I have a secret baby name...
...boys don't do that...
Quotes courtesy of BANG Media International
