Pregnancywatch!
  My old pal Katie Holmes was spotted out and about bearing her belly (almost) in some kind of wierd unitard contraption. I'm sorry but EVERY time I see photos of her I am so suspicious..there is just something amiss. I'm sure lycra unitards are a common pregnant woman outfit but I just wonder about the fact that it so conveniently covers the pregnant part of her stomach..I'm not buying it...prosthetic belly.  In other news Britney Spears and Kevin Federline may be creating a second hillbilly. According to "In Touch" magazine: "Shoppers in Malibu were stunned when the former pop princess grabbed her belly and announced to the entire centre "That's right, number two!". The star was apparently distressed that so many people were looking at her in the high-end furniture store Shabby Chic that she felt the need to retaliate. One of Britney's closest friends told In Touch magazine: "Britney is definitely pregnant again. She's acting the same way she did when she was pregnant with her first child." Has everyone forgotten that "number two" also refers to a bowel movement? I know that when I've eaten some bad Mexican food I yell "number two!" to everyone...you know...just so they know...
Ashlee does "Elle"
 Talentless McLameass is on the new cover of "Elle" magazine, why? I used to have such a dislike for her but now I have realised I just have to put up with her..I'm trying to zone her out...like a crying baby. Do you think she let Jessica cut her hair?
The Lohan in hospital again
 It's been a while since I featured an absurd story about the Lohan..and I think she realised..She has outdone herself this time..landing herself in hospital for the most absurd reason ever. Lindsay was in London when she was rushed to hospital for a large gash on her leg. The official explanation? "Lindsay was going up the stairs, carrying a ceramic teacup," said Lindsay's mother Dina. "She had just come out of the shower, so she was still wet and had some lotion on, and she completely flipped on the stairs. ... The teacup went flying, it was shattered and one of the pieces cut Lindsay on her shin." umm..ok. I love Dina's lavish explanations..next it will be.. "Well, Lindsay was building a life size model of the Taj Mahal using Bicarbonate of Soda and Chicken fat. Suddenly an escaped Llama from the zoo crashed through our back fence wearing a tiara...Lindsay mistook this for a terrorist attack and inhaled deeply in horror, sucking up the bicarbonate of soda... and that's why her nose was full of white powder." Come on Lindsay..I'm British..I know every concievable teacup related inury and that one has never cropped up. Try harder. Luckily I was on the scene to get THE ONLY paparazzi photo of the event.  Just one question. Why was she wearing tights in the shower?
I can see her Popozao!
   Holy crap! Each of Serena William's buttcheeks is bigger than her head! How the hell does she keep her balance? How does she fit through doors? She should open a "Junk in the Trunk" charity for people to understand the hardships of living with an insanely large ass...they could create extra large toilet seats..and get people to put bowling balls down the back of their pants to truly understand the plight of the bootylicious...
Raggedy Anne
 Oh look, the hobo who lives at the bottom of my street in an old shopping cart has emerged to say hello. I guess she doesn't like being photographed as she collects her bottletops to create sculptures of weasels to sell by the road. Wait, my mistake, that isn't a 65 year old homeless woman, thats billionaire teen mogul Mary Kate Olsen. Now, there was a time when I actually believed that MK was pretty stylish..those days are gone...take away the Chanel purse and she actually looks like she lives on the street. Doesn't she know that fame is all about tailored designer clothes, lavish spending sprees and..you know...washing. Can't MK ever understand that it's what's on the outside that counts?   
Coming soon to BritBoy in L.A.
 You've never seen anything like this before.
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