The curse of a fast metabolism
 Star Magazine has finally posed the eternal question that has been on my mind for about the last 10 seconds. "Can you eat 3000 calories a day and lose weight?" Apparently "Grey's Anatomy" star Ellen Pompeo claims to eat 3000 calories a day and still only weigh 100 pounds. Now normally I would make some witty joke about her being a total liar but I can actually sympathise. I eat like a farmyard animal and still look like a walking human candy apple..or Jimmy Neutron depending on your perspective. Now Mariah Carey on the other hand is a liar. She claims to eat healthily but look at her in this advert for some computer. She looks like she is breaking the poor dude's legs. Having Mariah sit on you must be about as pleasurable as having someone throw bricks at your face.  Have I taken it too far with the Mariah fat jokes? Maybe.. But does she still look like a human bratwurst? Yes..
Jessica Alba in Playboy??!!??
 Yes it's true..the most unbelievably good looking woman in the world (besides Keira) is in next months Playboy. What's the catch? Well..she is fully clothed. What's the point in putting Jessica Alba fully clothed on the cover of a magazine that is supposed to objectify naked women? That's like me starting a magazine called "Llama enthusiasts" and then putting pictures of octopusses and teacups in it. The Llama enthusiasts would not be happy, just like the Jessica Alba enthusiasts are not happy about this...   
Feminem
 OH. MY. GOD. A fat lesbian ate Eminem! Seriously..what the hell happened? He looks like he ate his entire posse..and then put on Kim's make up.. There were also pictures of him mooning but I couldn't stop throwing up in my own mouth at the sight of his gelatinous buttocks for long enough to post them...  Oh look! A cheeseburger!  How many did i eat? FOURRR!
More Lohan
 Here are some of the first pics of the Lohan's new "breathe" tattoo that she got after her trip to the hospital following an asthma attack earlier this year. I actually like the subtlety of the white ink, but the word "breathe"? come on..surely she should have got "smoke", "snort" or "vomit"? They would have been much more useful in her everyday life..   
Trollsens
 Wow! The Olsen twins looked HOT at the Badgley Mischka show this week. They are kind of like super attractive vampire troll twins...and thats always good...     
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