Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards 2006
 Yes, it's true! I got a last minute invite to the kids choice awards! How excited was I? Let's just say I was about one excitedness point away from losing all bladder control...hmmm..lets move on...I want to say a HUUUUGE thank you to the people that made it possible for me to go..you know who you are..and when I am invited to the semi annual Danny Glover appreciation convention you will be coming right along with me! So, now I can officially say that I was in the same room as Will Smith, Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, Bruce Willis, Avril Lavigne, Justin Timberlake, Cameron Diaz, Hugh Jackman, Jessica Alba, Chris Rock, Pink, Chris Brown, Bow Wow, Whoopi Goldberg, Drake Bell and, of course Jack Black! Granted it was an arena..but still... Jack Black did an AMAZING job of hosting, the whole experience was incredible..although I fear that if I ever hear children singing the Spongebob Squarepants theme again I may have a seizure. Here is a rundown of all the winners: FAVORITE MOVIE Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire FAVORITE MOVIE ACTRESS Lindsay Lohan FAVORITE MOVIE ACTOR Will Smith FAVORITE VOICE FROM AN ANIMATED MOVIE Chris Rock (Madagascar) FAVORITE MUSIC GROUP Green Day FAVORITE FEMALE SINGER Kelly Clarkson FAVORITE MALE SINGER Jesse McCartney FAVORITE SONG Wake Me Up When September Ends (Green Day) TELEVISION: FAVORITE TV SHOW Drake & Josh FAVORITE TV ACTRESS Jamie Lynn Spears (Zoey 101) FAVORITE TV ACTOR Drake Bell (Drake & Josh) FAVORITE CARTOON SpongeBob SquarePants WANNABE AWARD Chris Rock SPORTS: FAVORITE ATHLETE Lance Armstrong OTHER CATEGORIES: FAVORITE VIDEO GAME Madagascar: Operation Penguin FAVORITE BOOK Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling and just some observations that I made of celebrities..cos lets face it...I hardly looked at the stage..I was looking at what Lindsay Lohan was doing in her seat about 98.999% of the time.   Will Smith: is friends with everyone  Hilary Duff: Really needs to stop bringing her sister everywhere. It's getting old.  Haylie Duff: Please stop following Hilary everywhere. It's getting old.  Bruce Willis: Stop attending awards shows for kids.  Jamie Lynn Spears: Stop chewing gum, this isn't a gas station in Kentwood.   Jessica Alba: Stop making every other human on earth look hideous in comparison to you.  Avril Lavigne: Stop rocking the "my hair and skin are merging into the same colour" thing, also known as "Nicole Kidman Syndrome" or "Albino Lab Weasel Disorder"   Lindsay Lohan: Try and look a little bit happier at an awards show for kids..maybe eating something would cheer you up?
At the Nick Kids Choice Awards!!
More details to come...
Teri Hatcher and Ryan Seacrest....WHAT?
 According to US Weekly "Teri Hatcher and American Idol host Ryan Seacrest engaged in an unholy union of lip-mashing on a Malibu beach on March 25, after a lunch of lobster and oysters at a nearby restaurant. Hatcher sported an American Idol baseball cap, which she turned around backwards for their face-sucking session. Who says romance is dead? �The were immersed,� says an eyewitness, who noticed Hatcher massaging Seacrest�s neck. �Every now and then, they�d embrace.� �Teri frequently laughed loudly at Ryan�s jokes,� says an onlooker. �They were very animated with each other.� I'snt this one of the 7 signs of the apocalypse? I certainly hope this romance continues..for the sole reason that I want to make fun of it a LOT more!!   
Katie Holmes is going to burst...silently of course...
 Katie Holmes celebrated her baby shower at the Scientology Centre in Hollywood recently and afterwards decided to go for a peaceful walk all alone... oh, and with the 5569255379 paparazzi outside. There is something very wrong with this picture, either that baby has a very pointy head or Tom forgot to fluff the maxi sized pillow before stuffing it down Katie's top. In other TomKat news, Katie is said to be preparing herself for her Scientology style birth..Scientology deems that women must give birth in complete silence.. You can tell that this religion was made up by a total idiot. I'd like to see L. Ron Hubbard stay silent while he tried to push a watermelon out of his colon. I genuinely feel quite sorry for Katie, I bet she didn't really know what she was getting herself into with all those Scientology freaks Although it did look like she had a moment of realisation recently..  I love this picture..It's as if she is thinking "what the hell have I done???" For more information on the truth behind Scientology visit Operation Clambake at www.xenu.net
My wild, wierd and very surreal weekend...
 Let me just preface this by saying I know I haven't posted in ages..but you will totally forgive me when you hear what my weekend was like. Also I know I don't normally post about myself...but this is all too good to miss... My weekend started out going to the Premiere for the movie "Adam and Steve" starring Parker Posey and some other people that I don't care about becuase they aren't Parker Posey...  The movie was genuinely one of the wierdest films I have ever seen, and not wierd in a good way...It literally segwayed from scenes of someone crapping on the floor to heavy conversations about 9/11...I wish I was kidding but I'm not. Save your money and go see V for Vendetta instead..at least you get to see things BLOW UP instead of things BLOW OUT of someones ass. Then on Saturday night me and a friend hit up Privilege on Sunset...after an HOUR AND A HALF WAIT IN LINE (how exclusive can a club be?) We got inside. There we mingled with the..ahem..A List likes of Tara "how much alcohol can my body hold?" Reid and Mickey "How much surgery can my face take?" Rourke.  For some reason every time I looked at Tara I thought of a wolverine..I realise that there is no logical explanation for this..I just thought you would like to know that if Tara Reid was an animal she would be a wolverine..a wolverine that rummages through trash cans for leftover bottles of beer... ..somehow we were mistaken for VIPS and ended up at a Private party downstairs where midgets dressed as KISS were performing..again I wish I was kidding. Is that really what stars find entertaining..midget rockers? Anyway, the thought of me being a VIP made me laugh so much..I took the damn bus to get to the club..the LA city bus..where a man was trying to eat a pair of gloves. VIP my aunt fanny. Then on Sunday I went for lunch at Chateau Marmont, which is honestly one of the nicest places I have ever been, such a little tranquil haven in the middle of L.A. I can see why stars want to live there. We ate a few tables away from Anna Faris  She is sooo cute in real life, I just couldn't get over how different she is to Cindy in the Scary Movie series..to be expected I suppose... So from midgets, to glove eating bus passengers to a drunken Tara Reid...that was my weekend and I hope there are many more just like it to come!
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