Britney shares more than we need!
Ok, so we've all probably seen the bizarre Britney giving birth to SPF statue by now. The statue is by Daniel Edwards and is called Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston..but who really cares? The point is that Britney (or Daniel) clearly has a better impression of Ol' Brit than most people do.
Look at how skinny the rest of her body is while she is pregnant..and there are no Cheetos, Skittles or empty Frappuchino bottles anywhere to be seen! I am also a big fan of the pose. Has ANYONE ever given birth like that? and also..wasn't SPF a C-Section baby?
Anyway I decided not to post about the statue until I had a back view....and here it is....seriously brace yourself...
My eyes! Dear sweet lord MY EYES! She looks like a grazing cow about to birth a calf!
Also, just as a side note does anyone know why there is a frickin bear head on the floor in front of Britney? Isn't that a tad ironic on a PRO-LIFE statue? Think about that one kids...bears have feelings too...
Team Paris or Team Nicole?
The Paris Hilton-Nicole Richie feud has escaled into full-on war. In the latest issue of "Elle" Paris couldn't stop spouting venom about Nicole.
"I've been best friends with her since I was two, but when I brought her on to my show, she got very jealous and turned on me for no reason."
"She cannot stand being around me because I get all the attention and people really don't care about her."
"It breaks my heart. She was my sister. She was the funniest person to be around and then she let the fame go to her head."
"She's not the same person any more. I never want to speak to her again - ever."
Talking about The Simple Life:
"They want to do it with just me, but we're both under contract together. She has nothing else so she really wants to do it, but I don't."
Talking about Nicole's book The Truth About Diamonds:
"It's really pathetic that she needs to use my name to sell something because she's obviously not enough."
If there was ever a literal war between Paris and Nicole I know whose side I would be on...Nicole all the way. Think about it, what does Paris actually do?...
Yeah...not so much...
Nicole on the other hand..you know...
..Well that one time she made a really fat guy wear buttless chaps and then said "That's the sexiest thing I've ever seen!"
It's those kind of things that make me love her.
Plus you know that she may be scrawny but in a war she could beat Paris' ass down with her oversized handbags.
Who is hotter? Spacefish or Nosewiper?
Personally my vote goes to Fergie..she is like the lovechild of a trout and a klingon...and there is nothing hotter than space fish...you heard it here first
Lindsay Lohan's Freckled Ass!
No, No, Lindsay Lohan didn't bring an unevenly pigmented donkey to the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards..the freckled ass of which I speak was her RUMP..which she exposed to the entire audience when she accepted her award...an audience mainly comprised of young and impressionable kids.
I just have 3 questions for Lindsay Lohan:
1) Why were you going commando when wearing a short dress?
2) Why were you going commando when wearing a short dress at an awards show for children?
3) Why were you going commando when wearing a short dress at an awards show for children when you knew you would be going up on stage?
These are all pertinent questions. I don't have the answers. I just hope that the site of Lindsay Lohan's alabastar buttocks brought some joy into the life of those kids.
Something is very wrong with the world when a bare ass isn't wholesome family entertainment.
Britney Spears: "I'm just fat!"
Britney Spears told Atlanta Magazine this week:
"First of all, I'm not pregnant and second of all I'm sick of being called fat! I am a young mother and I just had a baby! It's very hurtful that people love to put me down." "My husband loves my body and he has no problem with this! I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat! There's nothing wrong with that and if people have a problem with it they can turn their heads!"
That may well be the smartest thing Britney has ever said
Ok, so she knows that she's fat but she continues to drink Venti green tea ice blendeds? Ok, so I know its green tea but its also about 10 cuploads of sugar and cream...no wonder she has so much junk in the trunk!
EDIT: Ooops! Turns out that this article was an April Fools Day prank by MK over at DListed
I thought that it was a bit too insightful for old Brit!