BritBoy in L.A.

Bye Bye Britboy.

2008-01-21T02:03:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone,

As I'm sure you have noticed I haven't been posting in a while. To be honest I'm not sure what I'm going to do about this little blog of mine. It has been a big part of my life for a few years now...

Therefore I'm going to be taking a break until I decide what is best to do. I'm working on some other very exciting projects at the moment and I sincerely hope that any readers I still have will take a look at them when they surface. The way I'm feeling right now I'm not going to continue with the celebrity blog but Britboy in L.A. might morph into something entirely different...

I'm sorry to those of you who have emailed me asking when I will update again, and I don't want to keep your hopes up. I don't want to say this is the end because it isn't... this is just goodbye for a while and there is something even more exciting round the corner!

Thank you to everyone who has ever read, commented on, emailed me about, written about, talked about or told a friend about my blog, it means a hell of a lot to me. I hope to entertain you all again very soon with something different!

Alexx

p.s. If you are severely emotionally scarred by the departure of Britboy then visit http://www.youtube.com/alexxshannon and check out some skits I recently filmed with some friends.

p.p.s: This post is actually my 400th! Do i have good timing or what?

Topanga gets arrested!

2007-12-23T21:18:00.000-08:00

Danielle Fishel who starred as Topanga on "Boy meets World" was arrested for drunk driving on Thursday! Whaat?

Maybe I'm stupid but I don't get why so many people are arrested for drunk driving?...I mean...its a pretty easy thing to avoid...just don't drink when you are driving..I don't see why it's difficult.

All I can say about this is........CORRRRREYYYYYY!

Lindsay Lohan might be off the wagon again.

2007-12-21T14:29:00.000-08:00

Lindsay Lohan has been spotted around town constantly holding a packet of Ariva nicotine tablets at any opportunity. It appears that the Lohan wants us all to believe that she is reformed and attempting to give up all her old addictions...hmmmm....

In fact it has recently come to light that Lindsay may be being paid by Australian Andy Valmorbida to promote the nicotine replacement in paparazzi photographs.

That might be slightly more believable if she hadn't been spotted smoking INSIDE IHop on December 11th. After attending a house party alongside Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis the Lohan decided that some late night pancakes were in order and decided to light up in the restaurant even though it is against California law! It is believed that a waiter approached Lohan and instead of asking her to put out the cigarette asked her to move to a table where the paparazzi couldn't bother her! Um....What?

This comes just days after reports that Lohan was seen drinking from a water bottle filled with Vodka at a Los Angeles nightclub.

Lindsay holding Ariva:

Smoking it up at IHop:

I guess any publicity for IHop is good publicity!

Paris Hilton promotes her canned wine.

2007-12-21T10:55:00.000-08:00

You may be wondering what is going on in these photos, or you may just be scratching out your own eyes and vomiting, either way this is Paris Hilton's idea of promoting something...in this case her new canned wine, yes, canned wine, "Rich Prosseco".

Firstly the name of the wine sounds like someone Paris is dating and got an STD from, secondly who in their right mind is going to buy wine in a can endorsed by Paris Hilton? Here are some more shots from her promotion campaign.

Apparently nothing says "I've got some canned wine to promote" more than crotch shots and pleather.

Ashley Tisdale gets a new nose.

2007-12-20T23:40:00.000-08:00

Christmas came early for "High School Musical" star Ashley Tisdale who has been showing off her new nose at Christmas events across America this week. Ashley allegedly had the surgery to correct a deviated septum.

The general public response to her new look has been negative. What do you think?

Here is an older pic:

To be totally honest I think the difference is pretty tiny.

Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant at 16..surprise!

2007-12-20T23:14:00.000-08:00

Britney Spears' 16 year old sister Jamie Lynn has confirmed that she is 12 weeks pregnant, and the father is her longtime boyfriend Casey Aldridge, 18.

Nickelodeon, the network behind her hit show "Zoey 101" released the following statement:

"We respect Jamie Lynn's decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn's well being."

Some other highlights:

Nickelodeon may air a special on teen pregnancy hosted by Linda Ellerbee.

Jamie Lynn and the father of her child Casey Aldridge may no longer be an item.

Lynne Spears' book on parenting tips is being postponed.

Britney did not know about the pregnancy until it was released to the press.

I really don't know what to say about all this, mainly because I don't really care. So she's pregnant..big deal! Is it really that much of a shock? She comes from the Spears family. I honestly wouldn't be shocked at this point if it turned out that KFed's evil twin JFred was the father of the baby, their whole life is so "Days of our Lives".

The only thing that could shock me now is if Britney started reading Proust and working for the United Nations.

Britney Spears: This MUST be intentional

2007-12-09T17:11:00.000-08:00

Britney was out and about the other day and took her tripleventicaramelmochaextracream frappucino obession to the next level. I didn't even know they MADE a drink this big...

I'm beginning to wonder at this point if Britney knows how much press her stupid antics are getting her and she is doing it on purpose? I mean..if you were constantly being ridiculed for drinking frappuccinos would you really slather one all over your face in the presence of the paparazzi? I think not...

Maybe Britney is a lot smarter than we all think?

or even more stupid?

Holy Joan Van Ark!

2007-12-04T10:18:00.000-08:00

There really isn't that much I can say about this photo, mainly because I just ate and writing about this photo involves looking at the screen.

Let me just say...considering cosmetic surgery? Maybe take a look at this photo and then go spend the money on something else...

My long rant of the day: Lauren Conrad

2007-11-19T01:48:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I was at the tree lighting ceremony/event/celebration at the Grove in Los Angeles today (don't judge me I like the holidays, ok?) and Lauren Conrad of "The Hills" and "Laguna Beach" fame was there. People literally went apeshit and nearly started beating eachother to death to get a better view when she appeared on stage as if it was the second coming of the Messiah.

Now don't get me wrong I think Lauren Conrad is ok, I mean her hair is shiny and she has a throaty voice like a puppy that swallowed some detergent... but she's just no Jesus..I mean..she probably doesn't even eat carbs, let alone feed 4000 people with one loaf of bread and a fish. (As a sidenote I always thought that was the best bible story..like Jesus was some kind of a magician..oh except for the one where he moves the giant rock and escapes out of the cave at Easter..that was AWESOME. Jesus was totally like an olden-times David Blaine, except..you know..rockin' a longer beard and stuff.)

Oh my god, Lauren Conrad has rubbed off on me, before you know it I will be creating unnecessary turmoil in my everyday life, wearing headbands and finding holding my venti nonfat latte "exhausting".

PS: It would be pretty cool if Lauren Conrad could perform miracles, then I might watch "The Hills" more instead of wanting to tear my own eyes out just when I hear the theme tune. Knowing Lauren though she would use her powers to get Prada pumps in her size and to help her decide between dating annoying bastard guy and arrogant twat guy.

PS2: I am a massive hypocrite because we all know that if I were offered $70,000 per episode to be on "The Hills" I would totally jump at the chance. Hell I would proclaim Lauren Conrad the Messiah myself and make all my family convert to Conradism if that happened.

Whyyy can't this happen to me?

2007-10-11T21:56:00.000-07:00

Probably because I only post once every 9 years these days, but anyway...

CBS has just purchased Dotspotter a blog that gets even less traffic than this one for $10 MILLION!

For the full story click here. I'm just going to go and heat up some food that I found in the alley behind my apartment.

It just gets worse and worse for Britney Spears

2007-09-21T21:55:00.000-07:00

Poor Brit Brit, she was charged today with hit and run after an incident in August where she hit a parked car and then drove off without leaving a note even though the whole event was caught on film by paparazzi! She was also charged with driving without a valid California license! Apparently Britney has NEVER been issued a California license...um...whooops...

Each charge can carry a maximum penalty of 6 MONTHS IN PRISON! Meaning a possible total of a year in jail for Britney! It is pretty unlikely however that she will serve jail time.

A hearing is set for October 10th.

Oh Britney, what are you going to do now? Probably go out and party at Hyde and then go shopping at Kitson? Because that really is the solution to all the problems you are facing...getting wrecked and then buying some cute new pumps. Honestly I'm just waiting for things to get worse for her... pretty soon someone is going to come forward and charge Britney with causing the Holocaust and killing baby seals for fun.

BRITNEY SPEARS JUST NEEDS FELICIA BACK!

2007-09-18T23:27:00.000-07:00

I don't want to alarm anyone but I just might have figured out the solution to the problem that is plaguing us all. No, not how to diminish the horrific pollution rates of Western countries...How Britney can get back on track! You know that she just needs her old assistant Felicia Culotta back in her life! Just look at the photo above, Britney's gleeful smile as she jokes around with Felicia's raven locks. God I miss Felicia. Whenever I used to watch shows about Britney I would just wait for the moment that Felicia would appear and offer Britney some grits or ask if Britney could do her hair. Felicia kept that girl in check, she deserves a medal, or at least her own TV show. I think I might actually be more interested in seeing Felicia make a comeback rather than Britney....

Felicia wrote a letter a while back to the owner of worldofbritney.com detailing how she felt about Britney's situation..I wonder how she would feel now?

Ruben,

Once again–I commend you for your Honesty and Integrity. I have been reading your new website daily and am grateful to have that to go to, to check on the antics of Britney. Britney doesn’t have a Publicist for me to clear this thru first, so it will come directly from my heart to you!
I am writing in response to “Where is Felicia?” on your editorial.I am home–in Mississippi…….I am now a trained Corporate Flight Attendant and fly with a tiny jet company out of Georgia. I am also a substitute Preschool Teacher at the Church Preschool in my town. I LOVED being with Britney for the past 9 1/2 years. I enjoyed being a part of HER dream, but now, am living my own dream.
I cherish ALL the incredible opportunities that came my way thru my job with Britney and am crushed/saddened/heart sick by the way her life is unfolding…….
I want you to know Ruben that WE (as in her Family and nearest and dearest—ALL of whom are NOT on the payroll anymore!!) are doing EVERYTHING in our power to get help for Britney and all in our power to NOT pad the bottom or move the bottom, so when she does indeed hit rock bottom, she’ll stand up and walk away from this whole fiasco a new, confident, changed, career driven Britney like we all knew and loved.
There’s just so much you can do to help a person—I don’t dare want to be an enabler, and I cannot love her enough for the both of us. I cannot convince her in ANY way to love herself. All I can do is be a friend, someone that loved her for MANY years unconditionally, and PRAY. That, I have decided is the most and best I can do for my friend. I cannot save her from herself, nor can I commit her to any type of treatment program against her wishes and will. I am throwing my hands up and realizing that I am helpless over another—ANYONE!
It’s been a hard reality for me to face. I have lived my best example daily, and that is ALL I’m capable of. To see what’s transpiring now, makes me feel a failure, defeated. I LOVED and BELIEVED in what I was a part of for the past 10 years and was so incredibly proud of Britney and all she’d become.
All that to say this Ruben–I’m so Southern, and the BEST way for me to tell you how I feel is to say—You can just kick an old Dog so many times before he gets off the porch. I, FELICIA, am OFF the porch!!
Thank you for ALL you’ve done–ALL the love and support over the years. ALL the non-judgement and ALL the Honesty!
PLEASE let me know if there’s ANYTHING I can do to repay your kindness. With as much sincerity as I can Muster,
—FE

My god she is SO NICE! My love for her just keeps growing! Anyway, FELICIA IF YOU ARE READING THIS, BRITNEY NEEDS YOU! WE ALL NEED YOU!

Just to refresh your memory, here is another picture of Britney and Felicia in the good old days, although at this point Britney was probably already trying to get high by sniffing cleaning products while Felicia baked a pie and read to orpans in the next room.

My god I love her.

Am I the ONLY one who still likes Britney Spears?

2007-09-18T22:42:00.000-07:00

With all the controversy surrounding Britney Spears I thought it high time that I came out of hiding and breathed some life back into my blog.

To recap: Britney gave a poor performance at the VMAs, has been dropped by her lawyer and manager and is still embrolied in a legal battle over the custody of her two sons with her ex husband, Kevin Federline. Which is all pretty crap.

Today it was revealed that the judge in the court case between Britney and Kevin stated that 'based on the evidence presented, the Court finds that there is a habitual, frequent, and continuous use of controlled substances by Petitioner [Britney Spears].' Britney will now be required to be tested for drugs and alcohol twice weekly at on random dates at random times. For now the judge has left the custody of Sean and Jayden at 50/50 but both Britney and Kevin will be required to adhere to certain rules:

-Britney and Kevin cannot make derogatory statements about eachother or eachothers families in public.

-Noone is permitted to use corporal punishment against the children.

-Britney and Kevin must complete a 'Parenting without conflict' program and attend joint counselling.

-Neither Britney nor Kevin can take the children out of the state without the written permission of the other parent.

-Neither Britney nor Kevin may consume alcohol or drugs 12 hours prior to or during custody of the children.

-In addition Britney must attend individual counselling and parenting classes.

So, it pretty much sucks to be Britney right now. To be honest I am really shocked at all the venom being spouted by the media and former Britney fans. While I CONSTANTLY make fun of celebrities I try to do so with my tongue firmly in cheek and never with the intention of hurting anyone (except maybe Sienna Miller) but a lot of the things I read about Britney are clearly written with the intention of dragging down someone who is clearly already at rock bottom.

I genuinely still hope that old 'Slave 4 u' Brit can make a comeback...hell, I would even settle for 'gas-station-using-without-any-footwear' Britney! But for now it seems like she seriously needs to concentrate on getting her life together for her own sake and the sake of her kids.

I seriously LOVE Lindsay Lohan!

2007-07-27T15:13:00.000-07:00

I know that I haven't posted in about 6 years, but who better to jolt me back to life than the Lohan herself? Her life is more dramatic than a Telenovela and I love it!

The Lohan gets out of rehab and just a few days later is arrested for driving under the influence, driving on a suspended license and possesion of narcotics! Basically it appears that Lohan went batshit after an argument with her assistant and ended up in a car chase with her through Santa Monica! Somehow Lohan ended up chasing the mother of her assistant and was pulled over after the woman called 911. Lohan's blood alcohol level was between 0.12 and 0.13 (the legal limit is 0.08) and was found with cocaine in her pocket!

Apparently Lohan attempted to blame another passenger in the car by stating to police that 'the black kid' was driving..yeah way to dig an even bigger hole. She is also reported to have told passengers in the car 'I can't get in trouble. I'm a celebrity. I can do whatever the fuck I want.'

Since the incident everyone has chimed in with their opinion, including her mother Dina Lohan, estranged father Michael Lohan and even Britney Spears, because she is so qualified to pass judgement on others.

It looks like Lindsay will be facing jailtime, and you know that she won't spend her time writing letters to fans with drawings of unicorns and happy flowers like Paris Hilton. The Lohan is badass, she'll pair up with a 500 pound inmate named 'Momma Knuckles' and attack other inmates in the showers if they refuse to trade their Marlboro Reds for protection.

Nicole Richie: The question everyone is asking...

2007-06-18T14:43:00.000-07:00

PREGNANT OR NOT?

Personally i have no idea, it looks like famine bloat to me.

Lindsay Lohan: This is how celebrities should not be...

2007-06-11T13:47:00.000-07:00

Lindsay Lohan's former bodyguard has written a tell-all book, speaking to News of the World he describes how Lohan:

'ATTACKED a gun-wielding cocaine dealer for ripping her off.

SNORTED line after line with Simple Life star Nicole Richie in a TEN-HOUR binge.

SLASHED her wrists with knives, sobbing that she "didn't belong on this planet".

ENJOYED frenzied lesbian romps with scores of girls she picked up at parties, and even made a play for chart star Mariah Carey.'

This is like telling people that the sky is blue or that cows go 'moo'.

Having said that we all know I'm going to read that book.

Aishwarya Rai: This is how celebrities should be...

2007-06-11T13:39:00.000-07:00

Oh if all celebrities could be like Aishwarya Rai, just LOOK at her...stunningly beautiful, talented, gracious, dignified, the list just goes on.

You won't catch her stumbling out of a club at 4am or bitching about fellow celebrities...and can I just note that the picture above is a candid photo that is unretouched. She is the true gauge of what a 'star' really is.

In case you didn't notice I'm just a bit in love with her.

Sienna Miller is fashion impaired.

2007-06-11T13:31:00.000-07:00

Weasely McWeaselson aka Sienna Miller showed up at a festival a few days ago looking like an instructional example of how not to put clothes together.

For someone whose fame was almost totally the result of being declared a 'fashion icon' it is pretty unacceptable to go out looking like a learning-challenged regional morris dancer.

Megan Fox is too hot to do things

2007-05-20T07:13:00.000-07:00

Megan Fox, the 20 year old star of 'Transformers' said that she was too hot to be a waitress, and that diners took advantage of her and groped her. She has now made the classic 'waitress to actress' Hollywood transition.

Come on now, I mean, she is beautiful, but so is everyone in Los Angeles, I'm pretty sure that Gisele Bundchen asked me if I 'wanted fries with that?' at Astroburger the other day.

Jodie Marsh is a great role model

2007-05-16T16:17:00.000-07:00

Not only does Jodie Marsh dress like this but she is also turning her search for a husband into a reality show.

It's hard to think of someone with more dignity and class than Jodie Marsh, except maybe the homeless lady who writes obscenities on her butt cheeks and then moons passing cars.

Ashlee Simpson does Cosmopolitan.

2007-05-13T14:10:00.000-07:00

Ashlee Simpson is featured in the most recent issue of Cosmo and is continuing to morph into a totally different person. I mean there is no denying that she's pretty but she's just so....blah.

She needs to at least dye the hair black again and reclaim some individuality, she is so forgettable looking that I might not even remember to finish th...

Nicole Scherzinger and Talan Torriero are a couple?

2007-05-13T14:05:00.000-07:00

WHO? You may well ask. Well Nicole is the lead Pussycat Doll and Talan was on Laguna Beach...They are the weirdest pairing ever, somehow it almost makes me feel ill.

But not as ill as this photo...

*barf*

Britney Spears defies belief.

2007-05-11T15:28:00.000-07:00

Britney Spears decided that it might be a good idea to go out in public looking like someone who was recently released from a mental institution. Disregarding the towel draped around her head that Britney used to cover the sprouting hair under her wig, the entire outfit looks like it was put together by a colour blind 7 year old called Sunbeam.

I love that Britney thought that it was somehow more acceptable to walk around looking like this rather than just let people see that she has hair regrowth. We all know that she's wearing a wig, we all know that hair grows back, but now we also know that Britney Spears has absolutely no sense of style, and quite possibly acute mental problems.

Halle Berry: is she or isn't she?

2007-05-11T15:11:00.000-07:00

This set of photos of Halle Berry strolling in Beverly Hills have reignited speculation that she may be pregnant by her boyfriend, the male model Gabriel Aubrey.

There is definitely a bump there, and if Halle is pregnant then it may just be the baby to rival Shiloh Jolie-Pitt as the most beautiful baby ever. So we may conclude that if Halle is pregnant we know that the baby will be BERRY BERRY beautiful.

Oh god, sometimes my failed attempts at wordplay make me want to cry.

also...Paris Hilton is a monumental idiot.

2007-05-10T12:10:00.000-07:00

Ok so, drink driving? Check.
Probation violation? Check.
Sentenced to 45 days in jail? Check.
Public apology for driving on a suspended license? Check.
Petitions to save you from injustice? Check.
Driving AGAIN on a suspended license just days after being sentenced to jail? Check.

Paris Hilton visited her lawyer this week and decided to driver her Bentley. Oh, and she is still on a suspended license. Oh, and still persisting that she didn't know she was on a suspended license.

They should put her in jail for life, fucking moron.