BritBoy in L.A.

Bye Bye Britboy.

2008-01-21T02:03:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone,

As I'm sure you have noticed I haven't been posting in a while. To be honest I'm not sure what I'm going to do about this little blog of mine. It has been a big part of my life for a few years now...

Therefore I'm going to be taking a break until I decide what is best to do. I'm working on some other very exciting projects at the moment and I sincerely hope that any readers I still have will take a look at them when they surface. The way I'm feeling right now I'm not going to continue with the celebrity blog but Britboy in L.A. might morph into something entirely different...

I'm sorry to those of you who have emailed me asking when I will update again, and I don't want to keep your hopes up. I don't want to say this is the end because it isn't... this is just goodbye for a while and there is something even more exciting round the corner!

Thank you to everyone who has ever read, commented on, emailed me about, written about, talked about or told a friend about my blog, it means a hell of a lot to me. I hope to entertain you all again very soon with something different!

Alexx

p.s. If you are severely emotionally scarred by the departure of Britboy then visit http://www.youtube.com/alexxshannon and check out some skits I recently filmed with some friends.

p.p.s: This post is actually my 400th! Do i have good timing or what?

Topanga gets arrested!

2007-12-23T21:18:00.000-08:00

Danielle Fishel who starred as Topanga on "Boy meets World" was arrested for drunk driving on Thursday! Whaat?

Maybe I'm stupid but I don't get why so many people are arrested for drunk driving?...I mean...its a pretty easy thing to avoid...just don't drink when you are driving..I don't see why it's difficult.

All I can say about this is........CORRRRREYYYYYY!

Lindsay Lohan might be off the wagon again.

2007-12-21T14:29:00.000-08:00

Lindsay Lohan has been spotted around town constantly holding a packet of Ariva nicotine tablets at any opportunity. It appears that the Lohan wants us all to believe that she is reformed and attempting to give up all her old addictions...hmmmm....

In fact it has recently come to light that Lindsay may be being paid by Australian Andy Valmorbida to promote the nicotine replacement in paparazzi photographs.

That might be slightly more believable if she hadn't been spotted smoking INSIDE IHop on December 11th. After attending a house party alongside Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis the Lohan decided that some late night pancakes were in order and decided to light up in the restaurant even though it is against California law! It is believed that a waiter approached Lohan and instead of asking her to put out the cigarette asked her to move to a table where the paparazzi couldn't bother her! Um....What?

This comes just days after reports that Lohan was seen drinking from a water bottle filled with Vodka at a Los Angeles nightclub.

Lindsay holding Ariva:

Smoking it up at IHop:

I guess any publicity for IHop is good publicity!

Paris Hilton promotes her canned wine.

2007-12-21T10:55:00.000-08:00

You may be wondering what is going on in these photos, or you may just be scratching out your own eyes and vomiting, either way this is Paris Hilton's idea of promoting something...in this case her new canned wine, yes, canned wine, "Rich Prosseco".

Firstly the name of the wine sounds like someone Paris is dating and got an STD from, secondly who in their right mind is going to buy wine in a can endorsed by Paris Hilton? Here are some more shots from her promotion campaign.

Apparently nothing says "I've got some canned wine to promote" more than crotch shots and pleather.

Ashley Tisdale gets a new nose.

2007-12-20T23:40:00.000-08:00

Christmas came early for "High School Musical" star Ashley Tisdale who has been showing off her new nose at Christmas events across America this week. Ashley allegedly had the surgery to correct a deviated septum.

The general public response to her new look has been negative. What do you think?

Here is an older pic:

To be totally honest I think the difference is pretty tiny.

Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant at 16..surprise!

2007-12-20T23:14:00.000-08:00

Britney Spears' 16 year old sister Jamie Lynn has confirmed that she is 12 weeks pregnant, and the father is her longtime boyfriend Casey Aldridge, 18.

Nickelodeon, the network behind her hit show "Zoey 101" released the following statement:

"We respect Jamie Lynn's decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn's well being."

Some other highlights:

Nickelodeon may air a special on teen pregnancy hosted by Linda Ellerbee.

Jamie Lynn and the father of her child Casey Aldridge may no longer be an item.

Lynne Spears' book on parenting tips is being postponed.

Britney did not know about the pregnancy until it was released to the press.

I really don't know what to say about all this, mainly because I don't really care. So she's pregnant..big deal! Is it really that much of a shock? She comes from the Spears family. I honestly wouldn't be shocked at this point if it turned out that KFed's evil twin JFred was the father of the baby, their whole life is so "Days of our Lives".

The only thing that could shock me now is if Britney started reading Proust and working for the United Nations.

Britney Spears: This MUST be intentional

2007-12-09T17:11:00.000-08:00

Britney was out and about the other day and took her tripleventicaramelmochaextracream frappucino obession to the next level. I didn't even know they MADE a drink this big...

I'm beginning to wonder at this point if Britney knows how much press her stupid antics are getting her and she is doing it on purpose? I mean..if you were constantly being ridiculed for drinking frappuccinos would you really slather one all over your face in the presence of the paparazzi? I think not...

Maybe Britney is a lot smarter than we all think?

or even more stupid?

Holy Joan Van Ark!

2007-12-04T10:18:00.000-08:00

There really isn't that much I can say about this photo, mainly because I just ate and writing about this photo involves looking at the screen.

Let me just say...considering cosmetic surgery? Maybe take a look at this photo and then go spend the money on something else...

My long rant of the day: Lauren Conrad

2007-11-19T01:48:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I was at the tree lighting ceremony/event/celebration at the Grove in Los Angeles today (don't judge me I like the holidays, ok?) and Lauren Conrad of "The Hills" and "Laguna Beach" fame was there. People literally went apeshit and nearly started beating eachother to death to get a better view when she appeared on stage as if it was the second coming of the Messiah.

Now don't get me wrong I think Lauren Conrad is ok, I mean her hair is shiny and she has a throaty voice like a puppy that swallowed some detergent... but she's just no Jesus..I mean..she probably doesn't even eat carbs, let alone feed 4000 people with one loaf of bread and a fish. (As a sidenote I always thought that was the best bible story..like Jesus was some kind of a magician..oh except for the one where he moves the giant rock and escapes out of the cave at Easter..that was AWESOME. Jesus was totally like an olden-times David Blaine, except..you know..rockin' a longer beard and stuff.)

Oh my god, Lauren Conrad has rubbed off on me, before you know it I will be creating unnecessary turmoil in my everyday life, wearing headbands and finding holding my venti nonfat latte "exhausting".

PS: It would be pretty cool if Lauren Conrad could perform miracles, then I might watch "The Hills" more instead of wanting to tear my own eyes out just when I hear the theme tune. Knowing Lauren though she would use her powers to get Prada pumps in her size and to help her decide between dating annoying bastard guy and arrogant twat guy.

PS2: I am a massive hypocrite because we all know that if I were offered $70,000 per episode to be on "The Hills" I would totally jump at the chance. Hell I would proclaim Lauren Conrad the Messiah myself and make all my family convert to Conradism if that happened.

Whyyy can't this happen to me?

2007-10-11T21:56:00.000-07:00

Probably because I only post once every 9 years these days, but anyway...

CBS has just purchased Dotspotter a blog that gets even less traffic than this one for $10 MILLION!

For the full story click here. I'm just going to go and heat up some food that I found in the alley behind my apartment.

It just gets worse and worse for Britney Spears

2007-09-21T21:55:00.000-07:00

Poor Brit Brit, she was charged today with hit and run after an incident in August where she hit a parked car and then drove off without leaving a note even though the whole event was caught on film by paparazzi! She was also charged with driving without a valid California license! Apparently Britney has NEVER been issued a California license...um...whooops...

Each charge can carry a maximum penalty of 6 MONTHS IN PRISON! Meaning a possible total of a year in jail for Britney! It is pretty unlikely however that she will serve jail time.

A hearing is set for October 10th.

Oh Britney, what are you going to do now? Probably go out and party at Hyde and then go shopping at Kitson? Because that really is the solution to all the problems you are facing...getting wrecked and then buying some cute new pumps. Honestly I'm just waiting for things to get worse for her... pretty soon someone is going to come forward and charge Britney with causing the Holocaust and killing baby seals for fun.

BRITNEY SPEARS JUST NEEDS FELICIA BACK!

2007-09-18T23:27:00.000-07:00

I don't want to alarm anyone but I just might have figured out the solution to the problem that is plaguing us all. No, not how to diminish the horrific pollution rates of Western countries...How Britney can get back on track! You know that she just needs her old assistant Felicia Culotta back in her life! Just look at the photo above, Britney's gleeful smile as she jokes around with Felicia's raven locks. God I miss Felicia. Whenever I used to watch shows about Britney I would just wait for the moment that Felicia would appear and offer Britney some grits or ask if Britney could do her hair. Felicia kept that girl in check, she deserves a medal, or at least her own TV show. I think I might actually be more interested in seeing Felicia make a comeback rather than Britney....

Felicia wrote a letter a while back to the owner of worldofbritney.com detailing how she felt about Britney's situation..I wonder how she would feel now?

Ruben,

Once again–I commend you for your Honesty and Integrity. I have been reading your new website daily and am grateful to have that to go to, to check on the antics of Britney. Britney doesn’t have a Publicist for me to clear this thru first, so it will come directly from my heart to you!
I am writing in response to “Where is Felicia?” on your editorial.I am home–in Mississippi…….I am now a trained Corporate Flight Attendant and fly with a tiny jet company out of Georgia. I am also a substitute Preschool Teacher at the Church Preschool in my town. I LOVED being with Britney for the past 9 1/2 years. I enjoyed being a part of HER dream, but now, am living my own dream.
I cherish ALL the incredible opportunities that came my way thru my job with Britney and am crushed/saddened/heart sick by the way her life is unfolding…….
I want you to know Ruben that WE (as in her Family and nearest and dearest—ALL of whom are NOT on the payroll anymore!!) are doing EVERYTHING in our power to get help for Britney and all in our power to NOT pad the bottom or move the bottom, so when she does indeed hit rock bottom, she’ll stand up and walk away from this whole fiasco a new, confident, changed, career driven Britney like we all knew and loved.
There’s just so much you can do to help a person—I don’t dare want to be an enabler, and I cannot love her enough for the both of us. I cannot convince her in ANY way to love herself. All I can do is be a friend, someone that loved her for MANY years unconditionally, and PRAY. That, I have decided is the most and best I can do for my friend. I cannot save her from herself, nor can I commit her to any type of treatment program against her wishes and will. I am throwing my hands up and realizing that I am helpless over another—ANYONE!
It’s been a hard reality for me to face. I have lived my best example daily, and that is ALL I’m capable of. To see what’s transpiring now, makes me feel a failure, defeated. I LOVED and BELIEVED in what I was a part of for the past 10 years and was so incredibly proud of Britney and all she’d become.
All that to say this Ruben–I’m so Southern, and the BEST way for me to tell you how I feel is to say—You can just kick an old Dog so many times before he gets off the porch. I, FELICIA, am OFF the porch!!
Thank you for ALL you’ve done–ALL the love and support over the years. ALL the non-judgement and ALL the Honesty!
PLEASE let me know if there’s ANYTHING I can do to repay your kindness. With as much sincerity as I can Muster,
—FE

My god she is SO NICE! My love for her just keeps growing! Anyway, FELICIA IF YOU ARE READING THIS, BRITNEY NEEDS YOU! WE ALL NEED YOU!

Just to refresh your memory, here is another picture of Britney and Felicia in the good old days, although at this point Britney was probably already trying to get high by sniffing cleaning products while Felicia baked a pie and read to orpans in the next room.

My god I love her.

Am I the ONLY one who still likes Britney Spears?

2007-09-18T22:42:00.000-07:00

With all the controversy surrounding Britney Spears I thought it high time that I came out of hiding and breathed some life back into my blog.

To recap: Britney gave a poor performance at the VMAs, has been dropped by her lawyer and manager and is still embrolied in a legal battle over the custody of her two sons with her ex husband, Kevin Federline. Which is all pretty crap.

Today it was revealed that the judge in the court case between Britney and Kevin stated that 'based on the evidence presented, the Court finds that there is a habitual, frequent, and continuous use of controlled substances by Petitioner [Britney Spears].' Britney will now be required to be tested for drugs and alcohol twice weekly at on random dates at random times. For now the judge has left the custody of Sean and Jayden at 50/50 but both Britney and Kevin will be required to adhere to certain rules:

-Britney and Kevin cannot make derogatory statements about eachother or eachothers families in public.

-Noone is permitted to use corporal punishment against the children.

-Britney and Kevin must complete a 'Parenting without conflict' program and attend joint counselling.

-Neither Britney nor Kevin can take the children out of the state without the written permission of the other parent.

-Neither Britney nor Kevin may consume alcohol or drugs 12 hours prior to or during custody of the children.

-In addition Britney must attend individual counselling and parenting classes.

So, it pretty much sucks to be Britney right now. To be honest I am really shocked at all the venom being spouted by the media and former Britney fans. While I CONSTANTLY make fun of celebrities I try to do so with my tongue firmly in cheek and never with the intention of hurting anyone (except maybe Sienna Miller) but a lot of the things I read about Britney are clearly written with the intention of dragging down someone who is clearly already at rock bottom.

I genuinely still hope that old 'Slave 4 u' Brit can make a comeback...hell, I would even settle for 'gas-station-using-without-any-footwear' Britney! But for now it seems like she seriously needs to concentrate on getting her life together for her own sake and the sake of her kids.

I seriously LOVE Lindsay Lohan!

2007-07-27T15:13:00.000-07:00

I know that I haven't posted in about 6 years, but who better to jolt me back to life than the Lohan herself? Her life is more dramatic than a Telenovela and I love it!

The Lohan gets out of rehab and just a few days later is arrested for driving under the influence, driving on a suspended license and possesion of narcotics! Basically it appears that Lohan went batshit after an argument with her assistant and ended up in a car chase with her through Santa Monica! Somehow Lohan ended up chasing the mother of her assistant and was pulled over after the woman called 911. Lohan's blood alcohol level was between 0.12 and 0.13 (the legal limit is 0.08) and was found with cocaine in her pocket!

Apparently Lohan attempted to blame another passenger in the car by stating to police that 'the black kid' was driving..yeah way to dig an even bigger hole. She is also reported to have told passengers in the car 'I can't get in trouble. I'm a celebrity. I can do whatever the fuck I want.'

Since the incident everyone has chimed in with their opinion, including her mother Dina Lohan, estranged father Michael Lohan and even Britney Spears, because she is so qualified to pass judgement on others.

It looks like Lindsay will be facing jailtime, and you know that she won't spend her time writing letters to fans with drawings of unicorns and happy flowers like Paris Hilton. The Lohan is badass, she'll pair up with a 500 pound inmate named 'Momma Knuckles' and attack other inmates in the showers if they refuse to trade their Marlboro Reds for protection.

Nicole Richie: The question everyone is asking...

2007-06-18T14:43:00.000-07:00

PREGNANT OR NOT?

Personally i have no idea, it looks like famine bloat to me.

Lindsay Lohan: This is how celebrities should not be...

2007-06-11T13:47:00.000-07:00

Lindsay Lohan's former bodyguard has written a tell-all book, speaking to News of the World he describes how Lohan:

'ATTACKED a gun-wielding cocaine dealer for ripping her off.

SNORTED line after line with Simple Life star Nicole Richie in a TEN-HOUR binge.

SLASHED her wrists with knives, sobbing that she "didn't belong on this planet".

ENJOYED frenzied lesbian romps with scores of girls she picked up at parties, and even made a play for chart star Mariah Carey.'

This is like telling people that the sky is blue or that cows go 'moo'.

Having said that we all know I'm going to read that book.

Aishwarya Rai: This is how celebrities should be...

2007-06-11T13:39:00.000-07:00

Oh if all celebrities could be like Aishwarya Rai, just LOOK at her...stunningly beautiful, talented, gracious, dignified, the list just goes on.

You won't catch her stumbling out of a club at 4am or bitching about fellow celebrities...and can I just note that the picture above is a candid photo that is unretouched. She is the true gauge of what a 'star' really is.

In case you didn't notice I'm just a bit in love with her.

Sienna Miller is fashion impaired.

2007-06-11T13:31:00.000-07:00

Weasely McWeaselson aka Sienna Miller showed up at a festival a few days ago looking like an instructional example of how not to put clothes together.

For someone whose fame was almost totally the result of being declared a 'fashion icon' it is pretty unacceptable to go out looking like a learning-challenged regional morris dancer.

Megan Fox is too hot to do things

2007-05-20T07:13:00.000-07:00

Megan Fox, the 20 year old star of 'Transformers' said that she was too hot to be a waitress, and that diners took advantage of her and groped her. She has now made the classic 'waitress to actress' Hollywood transition.

Come on now, I mean, she is beautiful, but so is everyone in Los Angeles, I'm pretty sure that Gisele Bundchen asked me if I 'wanted fries with that?' at Astroburger the other day.

Jodie Marsh is a great role model

2007-05-16T16:17:00.000-07:00

Not only does Jodie Marsh dress like this but she is also turning her search for a husband into a reality show.

It's hard to think of someone with more dignity and class than Jodie Marsh, except maybe the homeless lady who writes obscenities on her butt cheeks and then moons passing cars.

Ashlee Simpson does Cosmopolitan.

2007-05-13T14:10:00.000-07:00

Ashlee Simpson is featured in the most recent issue of Cosmo and is continuing to morph into a totally different person. I mean there is no denying that she's pretty but she's just so....blah.

She needs to at least dye the hair black again and reclaim some individuality, she is so forgettable looking that I might not even remember to finish th...

Nicole Scherzinger and Talan Torriero are a couple?

2007-05-13T14:05:00.000-07:00

WHO? You may well ask. Well Nicole is the lead Pussycat Doll and Talan was on Laguna Beach...They are the weirdest pairing ever, somehow it almost makes me feel ill.

But not as ill as this photo...

*barf*

Britney Spears defies belief.

2007-05-11T15:28:00.000-07:00

Britney Spears decided that it might be a good idea to go out in public looking like someone who was recently released from a mental institution. Disregarding the towel draped around her head that Britney used to cover the sprouting hair under her wig, the entire outfit looks like it was put together by a colour blind 7 year old called Sunbeam.

I love that Britney thought that it was somehow more acceptable to walk around looking like this rather than just let people see that she has hair regrowth. We all know that she's wearing a wig, we all know that hair grows back, but now we also know that Britney Spears has absolutely no sense of style, and quite possibly acute mental problems.

Halle Berry: is she or isn't she?

2007-05-11T15:11:00.000-07:00

This set of photos of Halle Berry strolling in Beverly Hills have reignited speculation that she may be pregnant by her boyfriend, the male model Gabriel Aubrey.

There is definitely a bump there, and if Halle is pregnant then it may just be the baby to rival Shiloh Jolie-Pitt as the most beautiful baby ever. So we may conclude that if Halle is pregnant we know that the baby will be BERRY BERRY beautiful.

Oh god, sometimes my failed attempts at wordplay make me want to cry.

also...Paris Hilton is a monumental idiot.

2007-05-10T12:10:00.000-07:00

Ok so, drink driving? Check.
Probation violation? Check.
Sentenced to 45 days in jail? Check.
Public apology for driving on a suspended license? Check.
Petitions to save you from injustice? Check.
Driving AGAIN on a suspended license just days after being sentenced to jail? Check.

Paris Hilton visited her lawyer this week and decided to driver her Bentley. Oh, and she is still on a suspended license. Oh, and still persisting that she didn't know she was on a suspended license.

They should put her in jail for life, fucking moron.

Paris Hilton doesn't understand the law.

2007-05-08T12:16:00.000-07:00

Not only has Paris Hilton's lawyer appealed against the decision to jail Paris for 45 days for violating her probation, but now Paris has urged fans to sign an online petition to keep her out of jail on her Myspace

She writes:

'My friend Joshua started this petition, please help and sihn it. i LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!

NLINE PETITION CREATED TO SUPPORT PARIS HILTON

To sign the FREE PARIS HILTON petition to
Governor Schwarzenegger that I have created...

please go here:

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/PH21781

I urge all fans and supporters and all that are outraged by injustice to sign this petition.'

'Outraged by injustice'? Um..which part of a drunk driver who violated their probation and then showed up to court late being reprimanded is unjust?

This drives me crazy, I seriously hope that she doesn't succeed in wriggling out of her jail time. Paris Hilton needs to realise that she is not above the law and can't just do whatever the hell she wants.

An evening of celebrity fashion.

2007-05-08T10:19:00.000-07:00

All the A-listers turned out for the Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art Costume Institute Gala earlier this week, and of course all anyone cared about was what they were wearing. So without further ado lets get to it, here is a rundown of the celeb fashion in order of best to worst as judged by me:

Best dressed of the night has to go to Kate Bosworth, she just looks incredible, I really think she is one of the most beautiful actresses out there at the moment.

Jennifer Garner, wow, she always looks great:

Call me crazy but I think Mary Kate Olsen looks realy great, much much better than she has in the past, bit of an ostrich dress though:

Eva Mendes looked hot:

Gisele looked beautiful, not sure about the dress but its on Gisele so it gets my vote:

Jennifer Connelly looked good too:

Ellen Pompeo, not so sure about the dress, but she looks beautiful:

Cameron Diaz, at first I hated this but the clashing colours are actually growing on me, and she can pull it off:

Mischa Barton looked okay, nothing amazing:

Not just an evening for the ladies to dress up, Josh Hartnett looked quite dapper:

While Channing Tatum got it wrong and looked like a waxwork:

Lindsay Lohan, meh...

Ashley Olsen looked like she had just thrown her dress on after she had been shopping at Target:

Kate Moss, she just looks haggard, thats what drugs do kids:

Christina Ricci and Chris Evans, she looks a little creepy and he is just boring:

Parker Posey, as much as I love her just didn't quite get it:

Jennifer Lopez landed from space for the event, quite appropriate since she has allegedly converted to Scientology in secret:

Rose McGowan looked, well, elderly:

Jessica Simpson continued on the path of trying to look like a female impersonator:

Alicia Keys just looked way older, and more pregnant, than she is:

Liv Tyler, no, just no, the colours look terrible, she looks like a cross between Ronald Mcdonald and an 89 year old woman:

And the accolade of ultimate worst dressed goes to, surprise surprise, Kirsten Dunst, who looked like a flapper that had been dead since the 1920s and was dug up for the event. She was accompanied by Johnny Borrel who may well be the strangest looking man on earth, and cowboy boots with a tux? um...nooo:

Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake reunite on red carpet.

2007-05-07T07:39:00.000-07:00

*Awkward!* Cameron Diaz, with her new lighter hairdo, and Justin Timberlake bumped into eachother on the red carpet at the premiere for Shrek 3 this week. Justin and Cameron had a very public romance and then a very public break up earlier this year.

They hugged and appeared to smile and laugh together.

Behind the smiles you just know that she was thinking he smelt bad and he was thinking she was an egotistical bitch.

Lindsay Lohan caught snorting cocaine!

2007-05-06T11:35:00.000-07:00

The News of the World reports that Lindsay Lohan has been photographed snorting cocaine in a 'marathon cocaine binge' at Teddy's nightclub in The Roosevelt Hotel just weeks after leaving rehab. Photographs allegedly show Lindsay snorting the drug and pushing it up the nose of her friend. Lindsay then allegedly brags to friends "I'm going to New York tomorrow to f*** Jude Law."

A 'friend' of Lindsay's made the secret film and spoke to the News of the World with the alleged intent of helping Lindsay to overcome her problem. The 'friend' reveals that Lindsay:

'SNORTED 20 lines of cocaine in ONE night alone STRIPPED down to a thong before inhaling the drug off a coffee table.'

'BRAGGED of wild sex sessions with a host of celebrities including singer James Blunt and model Calum Best.'

'Carries round a water bottle to try to fool everyone into thinking she is clean but she tips the water out and refills it with vodka and soda.'

The 'friend' continues:

'I saw her do more than 20 big lines of cocaine. She was still up doing drugs at 11am even though she had started about 8pm the night before.She wasn't even trying to hide it and was blatantly doing it off table tops, keys, books and in the wardrobe, where she was hunched over with her legs crossed almost bent in half doing it off some magazine on the floor. I remember looking at her and thinking how pathetic she looked and how out of control she had become. When she is on coke, which is most of the time, all the attention has to be on her. I have lost count of the number of times I have watched as she stripped naked in front of everyone. Then she loves to check herself out in the mirror as she parades around with her boobs hanging out. One night we had gone back to her place and, as always, as soon as she walked through the door she stripped down to her thong, bent down and snorted cocaine off her coffee table and then off her toilet.'

'She has told me that she has slept with James Blunt, Jude Law, Calum Best, Joaquin Phoenix, Benicio Del Toro, Jared Leto and James Franco. She loves Brits and has told me she has slept with the singer James Blunt a few times over the past month. The last time was on April 15 after another house party. I think they went back to a hotel together afterwards. She is very protective over him and when she heard I had met him she sent me a text saying, ‘Stay away from him Bitch, he is mine.'Lindsay told me she has messed around with Leonardo DiCaprio a while ago too but claimed that she didn't sleep with him. She also flew to New York about two months ago to go to bed with Jude Law. Last November she slept with Calum Best. She didn't tell me if he was any good but she is usually too wasted to know what is going on anyway.'

The friend ends by stating she shot the video 'so the world can know what Lindsay has been doing and she can't lie about it to herself or anyone else.'

Yeah...and also to make a shitlod of money....

While I don't doubt that Lindsay does a lot of drugs these photos don't really prove anything, except that she has friends willing to sell her out. I just wonder what effect this will all have on her career? Didn't do Kate Moss any harm.

Lindsay allegedly putting cocaine up her friend's nose:

Lindsay allegedly snorting the cocaine herself:

For the full story visit The News of the World

Paris Hilton is going to jail!

2007-05-05T05:17:00.000-07:00

YES! There truly is justice in this world! Paris Hilton has been sentenced to 45 days in jail by an L.A. county superior court judge for violating her probation. Her sentence will commence on June 5th at a women's prison in Lynwood, CA. The judge ensured that Paris would not be given a work release, an alternative jail or electronic monitoring instead of jail.

Paris tried to get out of it by blaming her publicist Elliot Mintz, stating that he hadn't told her that her license was suspended! The judge reminded Paris that she had signed documentation stating that her license had been suspended for 4 months and even had the documentation in the car while she was driving!

Paris apparently broke down and sobbed to the court 'I'm very sorry and from now on I'm going to pay complete attention to everything. I'm sorry and I did not do it on purpose at all.' The judge was having none of it!

I'm ashamed to say it but I think a small part of me might be in love with that judge.

Beyonce Beyonce! Shakira Shakira!

2007-05-05T05:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I have to admit this is the kind of music that I usually hate, but who can argue with a video where Beyonce and Shakira bellydance together?

They could be singing about fungal infections and banging rusty pans and I would still love it.

Kate Moss likes the powder.

2007-05-04T08:52:00.000-07:00

Kate Moss is pictured leaving China Tang restaurant in London at 9.30pm and then 2.5 hours later arriving home at midnight with white powder marks on her jeans.

Noone seems to know where Kate went during the missing 2.5 hours...

I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and say she went to a secret baking class and then patted herself down with talcum powder to get clean.

BRITBOY EXCLUSIVE: Lindsay Lohan's facebook profile?

2007-05-03T07:31:00.000-07:00

A Britboy reader sent me these screenshots allegedly from Lindsay Lohan's private facebook profile. The reader purports to be an online 'friend' of Lindsay and has blacked out elements of Lindsay's profile that could lead to her profile being hacked. To be honest I am totally baffled as to whether this is genuine or not. We know that Lindsay has had her real facebook profile hacked in the past and photos leaked onto the internet.

This also comes in the wake of Lindsays alleged Myspace profile being hacked a short time ago.

The facebook profile shows that 54 candid photos of Lindsay have been uploaded, however many of these have been made public in the past and therefore the profile could well be a fake, albeit a fake that has had a LOT of work put into it. Lindsay is also listed as interested in "men and women". Interesting... All other biographic information such as date of birth and hometown are correct.

In a note entitled "is this it?" written on Sunday February 4th at 5.36pm the profile owner writes:

"I just duno what to do anymore, head spinning, need to get out of it all. I just can't sit still. fuck, i have to solve all this shit.

write a note to (blanked out)

Maybe thats all?

much love

xx"

This means that the profile has been online for at least 3 months. Grrrr I just don't know what to think!

I'm hoping there will be more screenshots available soon. I was given 'Lindsay's' facebook name and have requested to add her as a friend but as of yet no reply.

It's up to you guys to judge: Real or fake?

The Spice Girls Reuinte!

2007-05-03T06:41:00.000-07:00

The Spice Girls (with the exception of Sporty Spice Mel C) reunited for David Beckham's 32nd birthday dinner at Cipriani in London the other night.

David and Victoria sported matching tans and peroxide hair.

Mel B got seriously fat...or pregnant...but thats really no excuse. Emma looks meh.

I actually think that Geri looks pretty hot, you know shes a psycho too which makes it just that bit hotter.

Geri always used to be my favourite, I used to have the most photos of her in my Spice Girls collectable photo album.

I mean...um....ok that was awkward.

Britney Spears poses topless! (with flowers)

2007-05-02T17:59:00.000-07:00

Not that I want to turn my blog into the Britney Spears gossip gala, but she is just so newsworthy at the moment.

Apparently Britney thought it might be a good idea to pose topless at a friend's house with flowers covering her nipples and then... SHOCK HORROR, the photos appear on the internet!

I'm not even surprised by things like this anymore.

To be honest it would be more surprising to see Britney manage to dress herself without somehow ending up grotesquely perched half-naked on a rock like some sort of hideously misjudged lawn gnome.

Britney Spears starts her comeback!

2007-05-02T09:32:00.000-07:00

Britney Spears performed the first of her 'secret' shows last night at the House of Blues in San Diego. After going onstage 2 hours late at 10pm she only lipsynched to 5 songs and was off the stage by 10.16pm. Thats a fast show!

Britney appeared on stage in a brown wig and costumes including bikini tops and miniskirts along with a fur coat and boots. She made her way through 5 of her most famous songs accompanied by female backup dancers:

Baby One More Time
I'm A Slave For You
Breathe On Me
Do Something
Toxic

This is the first performance Britney has given in nearly 3 YEARS! Let's hope old Britney is on her way back!

Keira Knightley is not believable.

2007-05-02T08:27:00.000-07:00

Ok, so by now everyone knows that I love Keira Knightley, some call it an obsession, but really aren't love and obsession the same thing?

The simple answer to that is no, but lets move on.

Keira gave an interview to Elle magazine stating that she would rather look like Gossip singer Beth Ditto than an anorexic. She was reportedly devastated when the mother of 19 year old Sophie Mazurek, who died of anorexia, cited an image of Keira looking extremely thin as a trigger to her daughter.

In the interview Keira says that she is trying to put on weight and has visited a doctor for advice: 'I went to the doctor to be checked out and asked him what I could do to put on weight. He told me that for someone of my body type to get to a size 12, I would have to eat a lot of shit food, stop exercising and drink loads. Basically, my body type is naturally thin. There is nothing I can do about it.'

Keira talks about the reason why she has stopped working since November: 'I'd got to a body breakdown. I felt I had permanent jet lag and couldn't mentally or physically adjust. I had a flat I'd bought but never lived in, friends I loved but never got to see. I just wanted to have a bit of a normal life.'

Keira even talks about retiring from acting: 'acting was the only thing I ever wanted to do. But, to be honest, I can see myself in five years or whatever just giving the whole thing up. I would. I'd just do something else and move on.

Avoiding parties: 'I now actively try to avoid parties. My idea of a good night is just hanging out with my mates.'

Hating the red carpet: 'I've become completely phobic about the red carpet because you just get so scrutinised and all I think is I'm going to be in the top 10 worst-dressed list tomorrow.'

and wanting to be like Sienna Miller: 'I wish I was Sienna Miller. When I talk to her I hope a bit of her party personality will rub off on me, but it never does.'

She continues saying that she would love to have a body like Monica Bellucci because it is 'so womanly, female and curvy'. Then she talks about seeing Gossip singer Beth Ditto on stage 'When she was performing she started taking all her clothes off. I stood there watching her strip, thinking, Oh my God, that woman is so sexy.'

Ok, there are several things wrong with this interview:

1) NOONE should wish to be like Sienna Miller, NOONE.
2) KEIRA KNIGHTLEY should DEFINATELY not wish to be like Sienna Miller.
3) Actors should not talk about 'retiring' from acting, it never happens and it just makes them look stupid.
4) Don't go on about being naturally thin and finding it hard to put on weight, it may well be true, but people will hate you.
5) Do not blatently LIE and say you wish you had a body like Beth Ditto. BETH DITTO?!?

Let's just have a little visual aid to help us truly comprehend what Keira is saying. Ok, so she would like to have a body like Monica Bellucci, fair enough, this is Monica Bellucci

...and this is Beth Ditto

I would love to see how happy Keira would be if she got her body switched with Beth's! In fact she probably wouldn't have time to be happy, she would be too busy drinking melted lard and living under bridges to scare small children.

Kirsten Dunst is confusing.

2007-05-01T04:03:00.000-07:00

As much as I dislike Kirsten Dunst, I have to admit that she looks pretty nice at the Italian premiere for Spiderman 3 in Rome.

but she hasn't been so successful at the other Spiderman 3 premieres across the globe. In London she went with goth-slash-binliner chic.

In Paris she looked like a Christmas present.

Doesn't she look thrilled to be there?

In Madrid she just showed up in an old jumper.

AND THEN, my personal fave, the premiere in Stockholm. Dear sweet god.

I kept the pictures small to avoid adverse reactions. If that isn't grounds to sack the stylist I don't know what is...

Celebrities storm Coachella!

2007-04-30T06:11:00.000-07:00

Lindsay Lohan, Cameron Diaz, Mischa Barton, Drew Barrymore, Paris Hilton, Elisha Cuthbert and Adam Brody were among the celebrities who relocated to Indio, California this weekend for the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival to see artists such as Bjork, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Rage Against the Machine perform.

Lindsay Lohan dressed like a 12 year old German boy.

Mischa Barton dressed like...well...Mischa Barton.

Drew Barrymore seemed confused.

Cameron Diaz was perky.

and Scarlett Johansson performed alongside Jesus and Mary Chain.

I'm so sad that I missed Coachella this year, damn living between 2 countries. Next year however I shall be there in full force, mark my words!

Kate Bosworth is skeletor no longer!

2007-04-30T05:27:00.000-07:00

In fact she looks freaking amazing! Kate Bosworth has always been so beautiful, I'm glad to see that she looks a little healthier and happier.

If you think she still looks thin then here is a brief reminder of just how skinny she used to be:

She is back to looking athletic like she did in Blue Crush, the movie that made her famous:

All I can say is, god bless whatever she has been eating, and long may it continue.

Britney Spears is bringing sexy back!

2007-04-25T04:23:00.000-07:00

Britney Spears went for a dance workout at Millennium Studios this week and showed that her body is getting back on form.

To be honest I'm pretty amazed that she looks like this considering she has two kids and is a recovering cheeto addict, even with the alleged help of the surgeon's liposuction tube.

Let's hope this means that old Britney is going to make her way back into our lives!

Lindsay Lohan gets hacked!

2007-04-19T20:07:00.000-07:00

Oh this is the kind of day that I dream about!

Does that make my life empty?
Probably yes.

But do I care?
No.

Apparently while Lindsay Lohan was off shooting a fashion campaign in Tokyo someone took it upon themselves to hack into her Myspace and post private messages from her Myspace, Gmail and Blackberry accounts. Now while I do not condone the invasion of privacy it kind of comes with the territory of being a total fame whore .

The messages detail private exchanges between Lindsay and Paris Hilton, Shanna Moakler and Stavros Niarchos. The hacker is planning to erect a website soon with full access to all of the messages. For now we have to put up with such highlights as:

Lindsay telling Paris she and gossip blogger Perez Hilton 'use eachother like tampons'
Lindsay calling Paris a 'c**t' and Perez a 'fat f**k'
Lindsay calling Kevin Federline a 'crazy sob'
Paris calling Lindsay a 'lesbo'
Paris telling Lindsay that 'the weights packing on'

and my personal fave, Paris using the word 'broughten'

Apologies for the small images:

To be honest its pretty much the moronic schoolgirl crap you would expect to hear from Lindsay or Paris. I'm just pretty surprised she didn't respond 'puppies are fun!' to every message.

Jessica Simpson is .........

2007-04-18T17:39:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I couldn't bring myself to finish the title as there is no word to describe what I am seeing. Do you remember the days when Jessica Simpson used to be hot? Hell, do you even remember the days when Jessica Simpson looked like a human being?

Well..those days are long gone, and she appears to be moulding herself into a mixture between a rodeo clown and a sedated lemur. I don't quite know what Jessica was trying to say with these pants..but they are pretty much the ugliest pair of pants I have ever seen, EVER, with the possible exception being the pair of multicoloured pants with a porpoise motif that I insisted on wearing everywhere as a child.

The difference being that I was 5, not 25, and I also thought that putting a tablecloth round my neck and climbing up a fence would make me fly.

R.I.P

2007-04-17T05:49:00.000-07:00

My heartfelt sympathies go out to everyone affected by the tragic events at Virginia Tech University yesterday, especially the friends and families of the victims.

33 were killed and 15 injured when a gunman opened fire in a University building. The shooting rampage is the worst in the history of the United States.

For more news visit MSNBC

As someone who has been lucky enough to study at an American University I still can't quite fathom what has happened, it makes you realise that your safety in educational institutions is something that you really take for granted.

A major question that will inevitably result from this tragedy is whether it's time for harsher gun controls in the US?

Thoughts?

Update: The shooter has been identified as Cho Seung-Hui, a student at Virginia Tech.

Shia LaBeouf has a new fan.

2007-04-15T19:14:00.000-07:00

Its been creeping up on me for a while now, but its time for me to admit that I am officially a Shia LeBeouf fan.

For those of you in the UK there is a good chance that you won't know who Shia is, unless you were a fan of the Disney Channel comedy 'Even Stevens', but this guy is set to be huge in 07 and hopefully beyond.

I recently saw Shia in 'A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints' where he put in a solid dramatic performance, something that I didn't quite expect after seeing him on Disney Channel. Since then he has starred in 'Disturbia', a thriller based on Alfred Hitchcock's 'Rear Window' which I am hoping to see tonight. He has also signed on to star in the movie version of 'Transformers' and 'Indiana Jones 4', Cha Ching! Not too shabby for a Disney Channel kid.

What prompted me to make this post though was Shia'a performance on Saturday Night Live last night. While the skits were pretty poor, Shia's performances were hilarious, especially his portrayal of Toby McGuire as an allergy ridden wimp sitting atop a giant cupcake in Prince's house.

It's not often that I make a post just because I like someone but Shia is kind of like a male Rachel McAdams: Hilarious, talented and genuinely seems like a good person...and his name is a mix of Hebrew and French meaning 'Thank God for beef', what more could you want?

Can Britney Spears do it?

2007-04-14T20:50:00.000-07:00

Britney Spears is reportedly back in the recording studio with Pharrell, and back in dance rehearsals sweating it out for her big comeback!

Can she do it? Will Brit Brit ever be on top again?

Personally I think her first step should be hiring a stylist. If I see her wearing another stupid wig/hat/sunglasses/ugly dress combo I think I might just lose it.

I vote that Britney can make a comeback! If we can just remind ourselves of just how HOT Britney has the potential to be, I think we would all forget all the drama if she ever became that hot again.

Isn't it quite amazing that you can go from looking like that to being bald with a cheeto-belly in the space of a few months?

I miss hot Britney.

Jordan and Peter Andre: WHY?

2007-04-13T20:34:00.000-07:00

Ok, surely it is bad enough that Jordan and Peter Andre even exist at all...

Even worse that they are 'famous' in England for the amazing abilities of 'having breasts' (which aren't even hers) and 'having pecs' (which aren't even his)

I fly across to the other side of the world and who do I see popping up in the tabloids? Jordan and Peter fucking Andre! Surely this is like holding up a slutty version of Big Bird and a slab of clay as our current day icons.

You are free to decide which one is the slutty version of Big Bird.

This advert makes me love life.

2007-04-07T00:12:00.000-07:00

There are actually no words. Whoever the actor is who plays the singing, dancing lad he is now officially my idol.

I mean, I didn't even know that such a nuanced comedic performance could fit into 30 seconds. I wish I had the power to award him an Oscar because frankly I would love to.

Oh, if I ever have the chance to be even half as amazing an actor as him my life will be complete.

The sad part is I'm not even being slightly sarcastic.

Nicolette Sheridan, Firehouse Dogs and more...

2007-04-05T23:34:00.000-07:00

A few days in L.A. can end up with some of the most unexpected experiences of your life, to date nothing can top my evening clubbing with Tara Reid and a group of midget kiss impersonators but the events of the past few days give it a run for its money. In the past 2 days I...

1) Saw British TV Presenters Ant and Dec scoffing food at Mel's diner in West Hollywood, I was excited even though no one knew or cared who they were except me... ITS AND AND DEC! LOVE THEM!

2)Saw 'Desperate Housewives' Nicolette Sheridan at the Getty Center behaving very weirdly and extremely overdressed in a white suit.

3) Heard a VERY juicy rumour about a high profile TV star, I am forbidden from naming names but might post it as a blind item later this week..

4)Seen the release of a movie named 'Firehouse Dog', lets just think about that for a moment... FIREHOUSE. DOG. Thats some quality filmmaking

5) Had a tramp throw a spoon at me on Rodeo Drive. The highlight of my week.

Lets hope the rest of my time in L.A provides me with much much more!

Courtney Love is terrifying.

2007-04-02T21:55:00.000-07:00

WHAT?

WHAT?

WHAAAAAAAAT?

WHAT IS WITH THE STOMACH?

WHAT IS WITH THE PARROT?

WHAT IS WITH MY EYES BLEEDING?

A little note for Mischa Barton

2007-03-28T00:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I know I've been posting about Mischa a lot recently but she has become the metaphorical thorn in my side, or rather the literal talentless beanpole in my side.

I know that didn't quite make sense but go with it anyway.

Now that I am back in L.A. Mischa has taken it upon herself to invade my homeland with her promotional shoe tour. Just wait and ingest those words a little: An "actress"..... on A. PROMOTIONAL. SHOE. TOUR...

hmm..is there something wrong with this picture?

Mischa. these words are said with the best intentions: Please pack your bags and leave England as I'm sure not many people want to buy your fugly shoes, then please take the money you earned on the O.C if you haven't already spent it on newboy caps and dresses that look like garbage bags and live a life of quiet luxury.

I am really sick becoming enraged and feeling the urge to write about you, thus perpetuating the belief that you are in fact newsworthy.

Sighhhh

Spotted by Britboy.

2007-03-22T14:51:00.000-07:00

I have eyes and spies everywhere!

I spotted a pissed off looking Noel Gallagher of Oasis browsing the men's designer wear in Selfridges department store, London. While downstairs in the foodhall I bumped into Sergio Pizzorno of Kasabian, laden down with bags of clothes and scoffing a doughnut.

Oh to be a rich, surly rockstar. Sigh.

I'm off to L.A. again tomorrow so the US stars better look out!

Fergie and Nicole Richie are fug twins.

2007-03-20T14:20:00.000-07:00

Fergie's overplasticised face + Nicole's new hair and lips = FUG TWINS

Looks like they are trying to channel the fug queen of them all, the fug triplet if you will.

ew.

Bye bye Mischa Barton! (hopefully)

2007-03-17T16:32:00.000-07:00

Mischa Barton has been dropped as the face of Bebe and replaced with 'Desperate Housewives' star Eva Longoria.

Mischa is pretty much only famous for the Bebe ads now...well..NOT ANY MORE! I wonder what she will do now? Probably continue to hang around doing absolutely nothing, and yet try and persuade us that she is a serious actress.

Please let this be the end of Mischa Barton (and her surprisingly saggy derierre!)

Just a sidenote: What the FUCK is she wearing? Was there a sale at "Big n' Tall Lederhosen Barn for the Old and Infirm"?

Lindsay Lohan is 7 different people.

2007-03-12T10:55:00.000-07:00

In the space of about 4 days Lindsay Lohan has changed her appearance so much that if it weren't for an aura of bitchiness and the scent of Jack Daniels I wouldn't even have known it was her.

First she was brunette:

Then back to carrot top:

Then blonde:

Add some creepy contact lenses, 7 pounds of makeup and some elephant fat injected into the lips and you have Lindsay Lohan, a woman who is 76.543% man-made:

Christina Aguilera is too hot for words

2007-03-09T09:47:00.000-08:00

Ok so I was a little slow getting round to watching Christina Aguilera's new single for 'Candyman' and dear sweet jesus do I regret it. Christina is just getting hotter and hotter by the day, and the prospect of 3 Christinas in the video is just a bit too much for me to handle. I mean, does she want people to actually burst into flames looking at her? because thats pretty close to happening.

I know people say that she is overdoing the whole vintage look but to them I say SHUT THE HELL UP! Christina can keep rocking this look for as long as she wants, and while that continues to happen I will continue to sit in the corner of my room replaying the video over and over whilst rocking back and forth and holding a pillow wearing a platinum blonde wig and false eyelashes.

A new Suri Cruise sighting!

2007-03-07T16:19:00.000-08:00

The intergalactic princess herself was spotted with mummy Katie Holmes and daddy Tom Cruise on their way to Tom's daughter Isabella's sports game.

Has anyone noticed that everytime Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are seen out they are at one of Isabella's sports games? Hmm, Isabella might grow up to be quite a masculine little girl, well, there needs to be some kind of a male influence in that family.

Uma Thurman for Louis Vuitton

2007-03-04T15:34:00.000-08:00

Here are the photos from Uma Thurman's new campaign for Louis Vuitton, I have to say I think I like it best out of all the celebrity campaigns. She may be about as airbrushed as Mariah Carey's album covers but she looks amazing.

The 10 Commandments according to the Olsen twins.

2007-03-02T12:18:00.000-08:00

Mary Kate Olsen was spotted in Paris this week doing...well..whatever Olsen twins do...dressed in the same old lady garb that has catapulted her into being a style icon or a fashion disaster depending on your perspective.

I decided to compile the 10 commandments that the twins adhere to rigidly, try and follow them all, although you would probably be shipped off to a homeless shelter for the elderly before you can finish.

Here they are:

1. Thou shalt wear ridiculously high heels in order to appear taller and skinnier than you already are.

2. Thou shalt wear as many types of dead animal carcas as possible, screw ethics, its fashion right?

3. Thou shalt dye your hair to the point that it is straw like and starting to fall out.

4. Thous shalt port as many pointlessly oversized accessories as possible: giant hat? check. Giant shades? check. Giant scarf? check. Giant sea turtle attatched to back? check.

5. Thou shalt frequently be mistaken for a homeless person/ drug addict / crackwhore that lives in an old tyre under a freeway.

6. Thous shalt hunch, skulk, and attempt to 'hide' from the paps.

7. Thou shalt use any woman over the age of 80 as your style icon, oh yeah, Angela Lansbury baby!

8. Thou shalt practice 'twincest' for the cameras

9. Thou shalt always carry an enormous cup of coffee and tote a cigarette, that is a full week's calories after all.

10. Thou shalt appear in magazines, on TV, pretty much everywhere, and earn millions, wait, billions...and for what?

Noone truly knows.

Victoria Beckham goes blonde!

2007-02-28T15:57:00.000-08:00

Victoria Beckham has finally caved into the pressure of La La land! Since she is already heavily tanned, a size 00, a staunch follower of fashion and a total fame whore it would only follow suit that she would become blonde!

I have to admit, I really like it, the colour and the shape, I almost would have liked to see her do something a bit more extreme and maybe go white blonde or just totally white, but knowing the years of abuse her scalp has taken from extensions her hair would probably fall out and we would be looking at another Britney.

New Madonna looks a lot like old Madonna

2007-02-27T12:59:00.000-08:00

I just stumbled across these photos of Madonna at the Vanity Fair Oscar party and she looks incredible! Although she seems to have reinvented herself so many times that she has had to go back to one of her old looks. Who cares? She looks amazing.

Is she ever going to get old?

Britney Spears may have post-partum depression

2007-02-27T12:37:00.000-08:00

TMZ is reporting that Britney Spears' current stint in rehab has little to do with substance abuse and is more an issue of depression. Doctors treating Britney Spears allegedly think her issues may be alcohol abuse in order to deal with post-partum depression or bi polar disorder.

God, I feel kind of bad about making fun of her now.

No wait, I don't.

Post partum I can see but isn't everyone considered bi polar these days? If you show any emotion nowadays doctors are pretty much willing to dose you up on meds! Refuse the meds Britney! Refuse the meds! Be wild and free!

Just try and be wild and free with some hair and a bra.

Tom Cruise has really worked his Scientology magic on Katie Holmes

2007-02-27T12:03:00.000-08:00

Katie Holmes refused to be photographed alone, or leave her husband Tom Cruise's side at an Oscars afterparty it was claimed on Sunday.

Tom Cruise was seen urging photographers to 'take a shot of her' alone, but Katie refused and would only take photos as a couple. Onlookers state that Katie gripped her her husband's hand tightly and followed him everywhere he went, where she remained silent while he finished his conversations. An eyewitness stated: 'She looks at him for direction.'

Evantually Katie relented and posed for photos solo, later mingling with Madonna, Dame Helen Mirren, Cameron Diaz and Leonardo DiCaprio at the Oscar bash. She was overheard telling anyone who would listen "Suri is doing really, really well. She's a beautiful little girl. I feel so honored to be her mother, really.'

From my extensive experience with Katie Holmes, aka, bumping into her once at Barney's I can say that she looked totally brainwashed. I'm just waiting for it to wear off so we all can all read the National Enquirer headlines about what the marriage was really like.

Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore toke some time to relax.

2007-02-26T17:11:00.000-08:00

See what I did there? I replaced the word 'take' with 'toke' because 'toke' is a drug reference, and this post is about drugs. Not impressed? Well, I have a blog and you don't, whatever.

Anyway, Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz decided that smoking some weed in a public park in Hawaii might be a good idea. I get that awards season is tough and all but come on, go do some yoga, go drink some tea, whatever.

To be fair though since Drew Barrymore started doing cocaine as a fetus or whatever by the law of averages she should be living in a barrel under a freeway by now, so smoking a bit in Hawaii before a trip to the Oscars isn't too bad after all.

Oscars Fashion Rundown.

2007-02-26T16:21:00.000-08:00

Well, I've finally recovered from my lack of sleep last night thanks in large part to falling asleep on a stranger's shoulder on the train home and an extremely large dose of sugary snacks. Lets get to what everyone was wearing last night shall we?

I'm going to run down from my best dressed of the night to my worst dressed.

Number One for me was Cate Blanchett. She's been rocking the metallic thing for all the awards shows this year and it suits her perfectly, she looks part mermaid, part robot, part superhottie. Plus she has talent, which is always a plus.

Helen Mirren, for a woman in the evening of her life Helen Mirren is pretty damn amazing. Amazing enough to have a song by Jack Black, Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly dedicated to her at the Oscars last night. I love her, she can do no wrong.

Jessica Beil, I know a lot of people didn't like what she wore but I think the colour made her stand out on the red carpet, which for someone whose claim to fame is S.W.A.T and some Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie is definately a good thing.

Gwenyth Paltrow, also, a lot of people didn't like this, but personally I think she looked pretty amazing, a lot less boring anyway.

Kate Winslet, I'm not sure about this. The colour, the style, its just all a bit....blah.

Reese Witherspoon, why did she get named best dressed of the evening by so many people? Its just a boring navy blue dress on a boring actress, sorry, I've just never got the Witherspoon appeal, and for me this dress sums her up. Also, did anyone else notice that they did some video airbrushing on her chin during the telecast? Classic.

Queen Latifah, pretty safe, but she looks good. Does anyone actually NOT like Queen Latifah, I have yet to find anyone. Prove me wrong.

Cameron Diaz, at first I liked this, but there is something dodgy about the bottom of the dress..if it had just been a bit longer she could have pulled it off.

Ok, let me just say this now, I have never liked anything Beyonce has ever worn and I have never liked Beyonce, she can look hot and all but there is something about her that just puts me off. Last night was classic when she tried to outsing Jennifer Hudson and looked like she was going to have a stroke on stage. Oh and the dress, well at least she didn't let Momma Knowles design this one, that's something at least.

Ok, Jennifer Hudson WTF? What were you thinking? I want to like you because of the whole underdog thing, and then you show up in some kind of space waistcoat make of aluminium foil. Just go home now.

Anne Hathaway, the bow is the most exciting thing about you, enough said.

Nicole Kidman, you look like some kind of fairytale gone wrong, little red riding hood meets the wicked witch of the west. Also the fact that your skin, hair and eyes are all pretty much the same colour is too creepy.

Kirsten Dunst, WHAT? What is this? I have only had the pleasure of an encounter with Kirsten once in my life and for once she looks on the outside how she is on the inside: Haneous.

Faye Dunaway, there are actually no words, where do I start? Actually there are words, your face looks like the grim reaper, stop with the surgery, and the dress makes you look like a diseased colon. I don't know how that even makes sense but it does.

Rose Mcgowan, note to you: This is the OSCARS, not half price cocktails at the Wynn Las Vegas.

AND ABSOLUTE WORST OF THE EVENING GOES TO....

TYRA BANKS! WALKING BLOOD CLOT!

Special mention must go to Rhianna, even though she wasn't at the ceremony she wore this to a pre-Oscar party.

I think she is amazing, a cross between Posh Spice and a Bratz doll, and somehow it comes out hot! Beyonce take note, this is how its done!

Finally, a huge THANK YOU to everyone who read my liveblog last night, I reached 10,000 unique page views which blows my mind a bit! 10,000 of you across the world were reading alongside me, so thank you, and I hope you all enjoyed it!

ITS OSCAR TIME! LIVEBLOG!!

2007-02-25T12:27:00.001-08:00

OSCAR TIME IS HERE! and so is my liveblog! I'm on British time, so apologies if that gets confusing!

11.08pm: Montage of British acheivement at the Oscars. Awesome.

11.16pm: Non-famous people start to arrive on the red carpet. I eat a mini muffin to pass the boredom.

11.18pm: Another muffin during the advert break. Delicious

11.21pm: Scary Asian lady stares over the shoulder of James McAvoy

11.38pm: Maggie Gyllenhaal admits to wearing 'giant pants' under her dress

11.40pm: A montage about Dame Judi Dench. Yawn

11.47pm: Cameron Diaz looks pretty hot but, not sure about the dress though..

11.50pm: Penelope Cruz...meh.

11.52pm: Jada Pinkett Smith looks less like a man than usual

11.53pm: Jessica Beil...WOW!

11.57pm: Emily Blunt looks as if she is wearing make up on every part of her body..and there is something up with her teeth too...oh wait, she's British.

12.00am: Jennifer Lopez and corpse husband appear on the scene

12.01am: Corpse husband is becoming frequently distracted.

12.02am: Jodie Foster asks 'who is still awake in the UK?' WE ARE WE ARE!

12.03am: Helen Mirren is a hottie and I'm not ashamed to say it

12.07am: Penelope Cruz may be wearing a dead ostrich

12.08pm: Leonardo DiCaprio may have mistaken olive oil for a hair product

12.25am: Will Smith is so ooold! Where oh where have the Fresh Prince days gone?

12.16am: Jennifer Hudson looks like 'they are just about to pop her in the oven with that dress' according to my mother. Whatever that means.

12.21am: Jessica Beil has M&Ms in her purse. I love her even more now.

12.23am: Cate Blanchett looks like a super-sexy fembot from the future. Wait...what?

12.29am: ugh, the lame half hour interlude where film critics you have never heard of speak total rubbish. Time for some more snacks.

12.32am: Ooh popcorn and flapjacks.

12.48am: I swear to god Dame Judi Dench could just take a shit on camera and they would nominate her for an Oscar, and this year she couldnt even be bothered to come! Knee operation, Shnee operation.

12.50am: Wait, shnee?

12.58am: The ceremony is about to start, and I am about to eat a giant baked potato..so there may be a lapse in coverage as I enjoy the cripy, buttery goodness.

1.02am: Nicole Kidman or little red riding ass?

1.21am: I love Ryan Gosling, solely for the fact that he brings his sister and mother to the ceremony and then says he's 'Doing it like snoop'. What a pimp. Well, not really.

1.30am: YAY ITS STARTED!

1.31am: Love the opening montage! love it!

1.33am: OK, its getting old now!

1.35am: Ok enough already, seriously, enough.

1.37am: Ellen? A velvet suit? Really?

1.39am: Ellen's opening monolgue: Perfect.

1.43am: Excellent Al Gore joke.

1.44am: I love the gospel Choir YES!

1.45am: Best Art Direction fgoes to 'Pan's Labrynth' YES! I WAS RIGHT! Also, Nicole Kidman you aren't supposed to say 'the winner is anymore'

1.45am: AMAZING SONG! I love Will Ferrel but hate Jack Black. Thats just life.

1.57am: Acheivement in makup goes to 'Pan's Labrynth@

2.01am: Best Animated Short goes to 'The Danish Poet'

2.04am: BEST LIVE ACTIONS SHORT GOES TO WEST BANK STORY!!!!! YES YES YES! AND THEY MENTIONED ASHLEYS NAME!!! GO ASHLEY!!!

2.14am: Best sound editing goes to Letters from Iwo Jima

2.18am: Best sound mixing goes to Dreamgirls

2.21am: Best supporting actor goes to Alan Arkin

2.31am: Jesus, just cut out the musical interludes instead of cutting people off mid-speech, wouldnt that be a better idea?

2.45am: Best Animated Feature goes to Happy Feet, the winner of the award, oddly enough looks remarkably like a penguin

2.50am: Best Adapted Screenplay goes to The Departed

3.00am: Best Costume Design goes to Marie Antoinette

3.05am: Tom Cruise is clearly wearing a girdle, you know he gorges his ass on twinkies...and that isn't a euphamism.

3.10am: YOU GUYS RULE! This post has already had nearly 6000 views in the past few hours, hey, I might not be Perez Hilton, but thats good enough for me!

3.12am: Does Gwenyth look hot or not? I just can't decide!

3.14am: Best Cinematography goes to Pan's Labrynth...RIGHT AGAIN! YESS!

3.20am: Best Visual Effects goes to Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

3.30am: Best Foreign Language Feature goes to The Lives of Others (Germany)

3.35am: Best Supporting Actress goes to Jennifer Hudson

3.44am: Best Documentary Short Subject goes to The Blood of Yingzhou District

3.46am: Best Documentary Feature goes to An Inconvenient Truth

4.07am: Best Original Score goes to Babel

4.12am: Best Original Screenplay goes to Little Miss Sunshine! YAY!

4.18am: 7000 VIEWS! HOORAY HOORAY!Thanks everyone who is reading!

4.30am: Best Original Song goes to Melissa Etheridge (An Inconvenient Truth)

4.43am: Best Film Editing goes to The Departed

4.45am: I hate it when they play the montage of people who have died, it almost makes me want to cry. I said ALMOST. I just have something in my eye.

4.53am: Best Actress in a leading role goes to Helen Mirren. I love her.

5.01am: Best Actor in a leading role goes to Forest Whittaker

5.08am: Best Director goes to Martin Scorcese! Finally!

5.15am: Best Motion Picture of the year goes to THE DEPARTED..A movie which I watched on a plane, and gasped so loud that I woke the woman next to me up from her slumber. It was worth it.

5.17am: Waaah the show is over for another year, and so is my Oscar liveblog. I hope that all of you out there who read it enjoyed it. I will be posting loads of Oscar photos tomorrow so be sure to come back. For now however I am off for my 2 hours of sleep. Goodnight, and thanks to the 7500 of you who followed the Oscars along with me!

Alexx

Britboy's Oscar Predictions!

2007-02-24T19:20:00.000-08:00

Although I haven't seen all of the nominated films I still like to be opinionated about the Oscars, and therefore here are my predictions of what/who I think SHOULD win and what/who I think WILL win some of the major categories.

Categories where I haven't seen any of the movies or know I nothing about the subject I haven't given an opinion, because that would kind of be like a hypoglycemic chossing the bext type of sugar from a selection from 5.

Performance by an actor in a supporting role

Alan Arkin in “Little Miss Sunshine” (Fox Searchlight)
Jackie Earle Haley in “Little Children” (New Line)
Djimon Hounsou in “Blood Diamond” (Warner Bros.)
Eddie Murphy in “Dreamgirls” (DreamWorks and Paramount)
Mark Wahlberg in “The Departed” (Warner Bros.)

Who should win: Djimon Honsou or Alan Arkin
Who will win: Djimon Honsou

Performance by an actress in a supporting role

Adriana Barraza in “Babel” (Paramount and Paramount Vantage)
Cate Blanchett in “Notes on a Scandal” (Fox Searchlight)
Abigail Breslin in “Little Miss Sunshine” (Fox Searchlight)
Jennifer Hudson in “Dreamgirls” (DreamWorks and Paramount)
Rinko Kikuchi in “Babel” (Paramount and Paramount Vantage)

Who should win: Abigail Breslin, come on, seeing a kid that young get an Oscar is always great! Or Cate Blanchett if we are going on performance...bah...
Who will win: Cate Blanchett

Achievement in art direction

“Dreamgirls” (DreamWorks and Paramount)
Art Direction: John Myhre
Set Decoration: Nancy Haigh

“The Good Shepherd” (Universal)
Art Direction: Jeannine Oppewall
Set Decoration: Gretchen Rau and Leslie E. Rollins

“Pan’s Labyrinth” (Picturehouse)
Art Direction: Eugenio Caballero
Set Decoration: Pilar Revuelta

“Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” (Buena Vista)
Art Direction: Rick Heinrichs
Set Decoration: Cheryl Carasik

“The Prestige” (Buena Vista)
Art Direction: Nathan Crowley
Set Decoration: Julie Ochipinti

Who should win: Pan's Labyrinth
Who will win: Pan's Labyrinth

Achievement in cinematography
“The Black Dahlia” (Universal) Vilmos Zsigmond
“Children of Men” (Universal) Emmanuel Lubezki
“The Illusionist” (Yari Film Group) Dick Pope
“Pan’s Labyrinth” (Picturehouse) Guillermo Navarro
“The Prestige” (Buena Vista) Wally Pfister

Who should win: Pan's Labyrinth
Who will win: Pan's Labyrinth

Achievement in costume design
“Curse of the Golden Flower” (Sony Pictures Classics) Yee Chung Man
“The Devil Wears Prada” (20th Century Fox) Patricia Field
“Dreamgirls” (DreamWorks and Paramount) Sharen Davis
“Marie Antoinette” (Sony Pictures Releasing) Milena Canonero
“The Queen” (Miramax, Pathé and Granada) Consolata Boyle

Who should win: Marie Antoinette or Devil Wears Prada, although Patricia Field is not strictly a designer but a stylist.
Who will win: Marie Antoinette

Best documentary feature
“Deliver Us from Evil” (Lionsgate)
A Disarming Films Production
Amy Berg and Frank Donner

“An Inconvenient Truth” (Paramount Classics and Participant Productions)
A Lawrence Bender/Laurie David Production
Davis Guggenheim

“Iraq in Fragments” (Typecast Releasing in association with HBO Documentary Films)
A Typecast Pictures/Daylight Factory Production
James Longley and John Sinno

“Jesus Camp” (Magnolia Pictures)
A Loki Films Production
Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady

“My Country, My Country” (Zeitgeist Films)
A Praxis Films Production
Laura Poitras and Jocelyn Glatzer

Who should win: An Inconvenient Truth or Iraq in Fragments
Who will win: An Inconvenient Truth

Achievement in film editing
“Babel” (Paramount and Paramount Vantage)
Stephen Mirrione and Douglas Crise

“Blood Diamond” (Warner Bros.)
Steven Rosenblum

“Children of Men” (Universal)
Alex Rodríguez and Alfonso Cuarón

“The Departed” (Warner Bros.)
Thelma Schoonmaker

“United 93” (Universal and StudioCanal)
Clare Douglas, Christopher Rouse and Richard Pearson

Who should win: United 93 or Babel
Who will win: Babel

Best foreign language film of the year
“After the Wedding” A Zentropa Entertainments 16 Production
Denmark

“Days of Glory (Indigènes)” A Tessalit Production
Algeria

“The Lives of Others” A Wiedemann & Berg Production
Germany

“Pan’s Labyrinth” A Tequila Gang/Esperanto Filmoj/Estudios Picasso Production
Mexico

“Water” A Hamilton-Mehta Production
Canada

Who should win: Pan’s Labyrinth
Who will win: Pan’s Labyrinth

Achievement in makeup
“Apocalypto” (Buena Vista) Aldo Signoretti and Vittorio Sodano
“Click” (Sony Pictures Releasing) Kazuhiro Tsuji and Bill Corso
“Pan’s Labyrinth” (Picturehouse) David Martí and Montse Ribé

Who should win: Pan’s Labyrinth
Who will win: Apocalypto

Best live action short film
“Binta and the Great Idea (Binta Y La Gran Idea)”
A Peliculas Pendelton and Tus Ojos Production
Javier Fesser and Luis Manso

“Éramos Pocos (One Too Many)” (Kimuak)
An Altube Filmeak Production
Borja Cobeaga

“Helmer & Son”
A Nordisk Film Production
Søren Pilmark and Kim Magnusson

“The Saviour” (Australian Film Television and Radio School)
An Australian Film Television and Radio School Production
Peter Templeman and Stuart Parkyn

“West Bank Story”
An Ari Sandel, Pascal Vaguelsy, Amy Kim, Ravi Malhotra and ASHLEY JORDAN Production
Ari Sandel

Who should win: WEST BANK STORY OF COURSE
Who will win: WEST BANK STORY

Achievement in visual effects
“Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” (Buena Vista)
John Knoll, Hal Hickel, Charles Gibson and Allen Hall
“Poseidon” (Warner Bros.)
Boyd Shermis, Kim Libreri, Chas Jarrett and John Frazier
“Superman Returns” (Warner Bros.)
Mark Stetson, Neil Corbould, Richard R. Hoover and Jon Thum

Who should win: Superman Returns
Who will win: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

Adapted screenplay
“Borat Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan” (20th Century Fox)
Screenplay by Sacha Baron Cohen & Anthony Hines & Peter Baynham & Dan Mazer
Story by Sacha Baron Cohen & Peter Baynham & Anthony Hines & Todd Phillips

“Children of Men” (Universal)
Screenplay by Alfonso Cuarón & Timothy J. Sexton and David Arata and Mark Fergus & Hawk Ostby

“The Departed” (Warner Bros.)
Screenplay by William Monahan

“Little Children” (New Line)
Screenplay by Todd Field & Tom Perrotta

“Notes on a Scandal” (Fox Searchlight)
Screenplay by Patrick Marber

Who should win: Borat Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Who will win: The Departed

Original screenplay
“Babel” (Paramount and Paramount Vantage)
Written by Guillermo Arriaga

“Letters from Iwo Jima” (Warner Bros.)
Screenplay by Iris Yamashita
Story by Iris Yamashita & Paul Haggis

“Little Miss Sunshine” (Fox Searchlight)
Written by Michael Arndt

“Pan’s Labyrinth” (Picturehouse)
Written by Guillermo del Toro

“The Queen” (Miramax, Pathé and Granada)
Written by Peter Morgan

Who should win: Little Miss Sunshine
Who will win: The Queen

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Penélope Cruz in “Volver” (Sony Pictures Classics)
Judi Dench in “Notes on a Scandal” (Fox Searchlight)
Helen Mirren in “The Queen” (Miramax, Pathé and Granada)
Meryl Streep in “The Devil Wears Prada” (20th Century Fox)
Kate Winslet in “Little Children” (New Line)

Who should win: Helen Mirren no contest
Who will win: Helen Mirren

Performance by an actor in a leading role
Leonardo DiCaprio in “Blood Diamond” (Warner Bros.)
Ryan Gosling in “Half Nelson” (THINKFilm)
Peter O’Toole in “Venus” (Miramax, Filmfour and UK Film Council)
Will Smith in “The Pursuit of Happyness” (Sony Pictures Releasing)
Forest Whitaker in “The Last King of Scotland” (Fox Searchlight)

Who should win: Ryan Gosling, I would really love to see him get some recognition, he is by far one of the best young actors out there.
Who will win: Forest Whitaker

Achievement in directing
“Babel” (Paramount and Paramount Vantage) Alejandro González Iñárritu
“The Departed” (Warner Bros.) Martin Scorsese
“Letters from Iwo Jima” (Warner Bros.) Clint Eastwood
“The Queen” (Miramax, Pathé and Granada) Stephen Frears
“United 93” (Universal and StudioCanal) Paul Greengrass

Who should win: Alejandro González Iñárritu or Martin Scorcese..comon, he's just due an Oscar now.
Who will win: Martin Scorsese

Best motion picture of the year
“Babel” (Paramount and Paramount Vantage)
An Anonymous Content/Zeta Film/Central Films Production
Alejandro González Iñárritu, Jon Kilik and Steve Golin, Producers

“The Departed” (Warner Bros.)
A Warner Bros. Pictures Production
Graham King, Producer

“Letters from Iwo Jima” (Warner Bros.)
A DreamWorks Pictures/Warner Bros. Pictures Production
Clint Eastwood, Steven Spielberg and Robert Lorenz, Producers

“Little Miss Sunshine” (Fox Searchlight)
A Big Beach/Bona Fide Production
David T. Friendly, Peter Saraf and Marc Turtletaub, Producers

“The Queen” (Miramax, Pathé and Granada)
A Granada Production
Andy Harries, Christine Langan and Tracey Seaward, Producers

Who should win: Little Miss Sunshine, but you don't often get Oscars for comedy
Who will win: Letters from Iwo Jima

Watch me get proved totally and utterly wrong, but isn't that the joy of the Oscars after all?

The short answer to that is no.

ITS OSCAR DAY!!!

2007-02-24T19:17:00.000-08:00

Today is Oscar day and I'm going to be watching it live even though I'm back in London and this requires waking up at 1am and watching it through the night..... and then going to classes at 8am. Yes I'm a true badass.

I will also attempt to liveblog but it may not be possible.

THERE IS NO REASON FOR THIS POST OTHER THAN I AM VERY EXCITED FOR OSCAR DAY!

GO TEAM ASHLEY!

EXCITING OSCAR NEWS!

2007-02-24T18:29:00.000-08:00

So it's the Oscars on Sunday night and I'm sooo excited! Not only because of the usual fun of watching and making fun of everyone but also because my friend is nominated!

Ashley Jordan is the producer of "West Bank Story" which is up for an award for Best Live Action Short Film. I think if i see her on TV I might actually soil myself.

Anyway...

Good luck Ashley, with all the hard work you put in you deserve every success!

A NEW Britboy Blind Item.

2007-02-24T14:51:00.000-08:00

Which young actress currently receiving critical acclaim is much closer to the bitchy persona of one of her characters then people would believe? While her PR people work overtime to portray her as down to earth, balanced and humble, the truth is finally getting out thanks to the people she has directed her venom towards.

It isn't: Rachel McAdams, Lindsay Lohan, Sarah Michelle Gellar

Advert annoyance.

2007-02-24T14:43:00.000-08:00

For any of you that live in the UK can I just ask, does ANYONE find this advert vaguely entertaining? It literally makes me want to rip off my own face everytime I hear it, and its played CONSTANTLY.

This, on the other hand, is an example of a funny advert:

You could pretty much put those cartoon characters into any advert and I would buy the product, even if it were glaucoma medicine specifically designed for old Taiwanese women.

Kevin Federline visits Britney Spears in rehab.

2007-02-24T11:42:00.000-08:00

Kevin Federline visited Britney Spears in at her rehabilitation centre, Promises in Malibu, California on Friday. It is reported that Kevin only stayed at the facility for half an hour.

This news comes after allegations that it was Kevin's attempt at full custody of his and Britney's two children that drove Britney to shave her head and enter rehab in the first place.

Britney's manager Larry Rudolph issued a statement slamming reports that Britney attempted suicide twice before entering rehab. Publications such as The National Enquirer in the US and Metro magazine in the UK reported that Britney had attempted to end her life by walking in front of a speeding car and had threatened to down a bottle of Xanex.

Rudolph stated:

'The story is absolutely untrue. She is in rehab, and it is very disappointing that various media outlets are running these false stories about her, as Britney tries to get better.'

I find it quite amazing that this whole thing has made people start to side with Kevin Federline as opposed to Britney Spears. I for one am looking at things differently now that Britney's erratic behaviour had become public.

All this time I had the idea that living with Britney would be her constantly performing renditions of 'Slave 4 U' and writhing on a stripper pole, wheras the reality is probably that she would get drunk off her ass, and start singing 'My little teapot' to a wicker chair before beating you senseless with her MTV music video award.

Rachel Bilson is the Einstein of relationships.

2007-02-24T11:23:00.000-08:00

Rachel Bilson spoke to US Weekly recently about her relationship insights, and these were her pearls of wisdom about men:

"They have different body parts."

"If you're scared he's going to try and kiss you, it's probably not right."

"If you really want him to kiss you, he's the guy."

Even after reading these I still can't say anything bad about her, she's Rachel Bilson! The human equivalent of a little fluffy bunny. She could beat an elderly woman to death for her pension money right in front of me and I would still think she was 'swell' and invite her to have an ice cream sundae.

Evidently Rachel Bilson makes me wish I lived in the 1950s

Reason no. 365548890765 why Mischa Barton is pointless

2007-02-23T11:32:00.000-08:00

Reason number 365548890765: She smokes pot in her car and then drives away on a crowded L.A. street.

We can sandwich that right between reason number 365548890764: She mistakes burlap sucks for fashion items, and reason number 365548890766: She thinks that rubbing her neck and looking into the distance is acting.

Maybe it made her hallucinate that she had talent?

Quote of the day: Jamie Spears

2007-02-23T09:52:00.000-08:00

Brit Brit's dad has chimed into the media storm surrounding his daughter, by stating:

"We've got a sick little girl - we're just trying to take care of her."

Sorry, I know this is a sensitive issue and he's her father and all but what exactly is she supposed to be sick with? Unless its a disease that makes you attempt to impersonate an egg, down 12 pina coladas, and then go batshit on a car with an umbrella.

Watch the video for yourself, maybe we have just categorized a new disease?

crazyassbritbritgoesapeonanemptycarwithanumbrellafornoapparantreason(itis).

The Lohan: Fantasy versus Reality

2007-02-23T09:34:00.000-08:00

Lindsay Lohan looks pretty damn amazing in the new Miu Miu campaign, unfortunately the illusion is slightly ruined by the fact that photos of her behind the scenes of the shoot have also been released:

So here she looks hot...

Hot...

Computerized but hot...

Slightly less hot...

Not too bad...

Um...well...

Yeeeeeah...

Even THAT I could probably could have got on board with, bearing in mind that in those photos she is getting ready for a multimillion dollar photoshoot so she has probably been made up for about the past 6 days.

While this is what Lindsay looked like a few days ago exiting rehab:

Ok, so maybe it wasn't her best day, but it's a hell of a lot closer to what she looks like than the Miu Miu shots.

I sometimes wonder why they even bother hiring a star if they are just going to airbrush them beyond all recognition. They may as well just drag a raccoon out of the trash and style, light and airbrush it to look like Angelina Jolie. It's cost effective and gives street dwelling vermin the opportunity to be fashion icons, and that hasn't happened since Mitzy the D&G squirrel.

I have no idea where I was going with this.

I need your input!

2007-02-22T18:57:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone,

I know I have been less than conscientous with the blog recently but I'm trying to turn that around. I have mentioned in several past emails that I would like to expand/shift the content and style of the blog in order to keep things fresh for both you guys and myself.

It would be a great help if some of you could fill in this poll and let me know what you would like to see more of on Britboy.

I PROMISE the posting drought has ended, come and stock up on all the Britboy goodness you need from now on!

Alexx

PollPub.com VoteWhat would you like to see more of on Britboy in L.A?

What's the verdict?

2007-02-22T11:52:00.000-08:00

Orlando Bloom unveiled his new haircut at a pre-Oscar party yesterday.

Pretty brave for someone who is just as famous for their hair as their film career.

BRITBOY EXCLUSIVE: Diana Ross really likes her muffins!

2007-02-22T11:24:00.000-08:00

I may have not posted in..well...forever, but for good reason. I was back in L.A. performing some celebrity espionage and I had quite the experience on my first night back in La La land:

Did I manage to see bald Britney? No. Better.
A fresh out of rehab Lindsay Lohan? Better.
DIANA ROSS LOSING HER SHIT AT A SUPERMARKET WORKER!

I witnessed the wrath of the Ross first hand, and it wasn't pretty. As I was walking through Ralph's in Beverly Hills stocking up on essentials, you know..milk, bread, every American tabloid in existence, I became aware of a woman with inordinately large hair walking down the aisle towards me, and then I froze in my tracks..it was DIANA FREAKING ROSS.

I have to say in person Diana Ross looks more like how you would expect Diana Ross to look if she were a crazy homeless person. She is all hair, oversized clothes and Ugg boots. Anyway after scoping her out more to make sure out was her I followed her sneakily round the store..so sneakily that I managed to crash my cart into a giant stack of crystal light.

I followed her to the checkout where she proceeded to go NUTS at the checkout woman because they didn't have her favourite chocolate chip muffins in store. She YELLED for over 10 minutes about how she had specifically requested the muffins on her last visit and they weren't there, so much so that a crowd formed just to gawp at her.

That's pretty rock & roll! The Ross treats the supermarket just like her own personal dressing room! I was half expecting her to open up a platter of fresh fruit, light some candles and sit in the cereal aisle while she requested that they play 'Chain Reaction' over the speaker system. Then maybe she could go and take a crap in the canned goods aisle while they play 'Stop! in the Name of Love."!!

Ok. I just managed to even gross myself out with that one.

Britboy Recommends...

2007-02-04T10:49:00.000-08:00

www.theurbanraptor.com

the.urbanraptor.com is a great new site made by a talented illustrator, extremely funny blogger, and (most importantly) my first ever myspace friend (and the only person who has better hair than me) Caleb Paullus!

Caleb has already sold several of his designs to www.noisebot.com where you can buy a Caleb-original designed t shirt. Visit www.theurbanraptor.com for more info on Caleb, his blog, and more information on his designs, you can even request something designed specifically for you!

Why not visit and combine your love of Britboy with your new found love for Caleb by requesting a t shirt with my face plastered over it? I'm wearing one right now!

A little tragic? yes.

Amazingly sexy? Also yes.

What the FUCK?

2007-01-31T06:49:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry, I try not to swear too often but what the FUCKING SHITTING HELL did Sienna Miller think she was doing when she went out wearing giant knickers and a fluffy sweater after the premiere of her new movie Factory Girl?

I had almost let my hatred for Weasely McWeaselface go..I had forgotten her lack of talent, charisma, any type of discernible appeal and the fact that she is a total fucking moron but NOW ITS ON! Why was this woman EVER EVER labelled as a fashion icon?

Apparently Weasel has confused 'style' with 'looking like you are about to shit yourself in public'

Britney is undeniably sexy!

2007-01-20T06:54:00.000-08:00

How can people say she's gone downhill?

BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURK!!!!

Jade Goody evicted from Celebrity Big Brother

2007-01-19T15:13:00.000-08:00

Jade Goody was evicted from Celebrity Big Brother with a massive 82% of the public vote. Due to the heightened security surrounding the eviction there was no live crowd. Jade was escorted into the studio to a chorus of both cheers and boos (incidentally the first time an evictee has ever been booed by the studio audience).

I was surprised that Davina actually gave her a pretty tough grilling and wasn't willing to accept any excuses from Jade. The whole thing made for quite uncomfortable viewing. Jade ended the interview by stating 'Just because someone who doesn't argue the same way as you, or just doesn't shout the same as you - and is from different backgrounds and cultures, doesn't mean they are fake. I was sincerely really upset about what may have happened, and now I am embarrassed and disgusted in myself.'

I have to say, I think the issue was more of a class or control issue as opposed to a racial one, however Jade should be held accountable for her actions in the house. It looks like the show that made Jade has just ruined her.

For non-UK readers who are confused as to why this is such a big issue, try and imagine if Paris Hilton did another series of the Simple Life and whilst riding atop a cow made a racist comment about Nicole Richie, thats how big the issue has become here. It's kind of like that, but not really. Well it sort of is, just with less cows and socialites and more one armed lesbians and arguments about chicken.

Celebrity Big Brother Controversy!

2007-01-18T10:49:00.000-08:00

OH MY GOD! My favourite TV show of all time, Big Brother, is causing some massive controversy not only in the UK but across the world! Contestants have been accused of racial bullying towards Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty.

Shetty, 31, one of the most famous stars of Indian cinema, labelled as the Indian equivalent of Angelina Jolie has been the subject of vicious attacks from Jade Goody, 25, a former Big Brother contestant who has become a celebrity in her own right, as well as Danielle Lloyd, 23, a disgraced beauty queen, and Jo O' Meara, 27, former singer from S Club 7.

The rows began when Shetty offered to cook the group a traditional British roast dinner but was unaware of the amount of time the chicken needed to be cooked for. Following this incident the 3 housemates professed their disgust that Shetty had touched their food with her hands, Lloyd stated 'They eat with their hands in India, don't they - or is that China? You don't know where her hands have been.'. O' Meara then followed up by arguing that Indians are thin because they are sick from unproperly cooked food.

Amongst other insults Shetty has been called 'a dog', 'a wanker', and allegedly 'a Paki' by Goody's boyfriend Jack Tweed, 19. Last night the arguments reached a boiling point when Goody used food that Shetty had ordered for herself on the shopping list. Amongst other comments Jade stated, 'You might be a princess in never never land (referring to India) but here you're just a normal housemate.' Lloyd added, 'She can't even speak English properly', 'She should fuck off back home'

Here is a brief video of the incident where Shetty finally reacted to Goody's comments by stating that her only claim to fame was being a former Big Brother contestant.

In a later argument, to be broadcast this evening on Channel 4, Goody is shown referring to Shilpa as 'Poppadom', in a manner similar to her mother Jackiey, 48, who during her time in the house refused to learn Shilpa's name and referred to her as 'the Indian'.

The repurcussions have been immense, a total of 36,000 compaints have been registered with Ofcom, an independent regulator of progamming in the UK. Politicians including Tony Blair, Gordon Brown and Anne Widdecombe have spoken out against the use of racism as entertainment. Almost every front page headline in the UK has spoken exclusively about the racism debate and as a consequence Jade Goody has been dropped by the charity Act Against Bullying who said her treatment of Shilpa was 'unforgivable'. Jade's perfume Shhh! has been removed from the shelves of The Perfume Shop in the UK and Danielle Lloyd has been dropped from modelling contracts. The Carphone Warehouse, a lucrative sponsor for Channel 4 have chosen to sever their ties with the channel following the incidents in the house.

Shilpa herself has been divided as to whether she feels that she is the victim of racism, today stating, 'I don't feel there was any racial discrimination happening from Jade's end. Erm, I don't think that is true. That's it. I think that there are a lot of insecurities from her end but it's definitely not racial.'

Here, 2 former housemates discuss whether they feel Shilpa has been the victim of racism.

The altercation will finally come to an end tomorrow when either Shilpa or Jade will be evicted. Shilpa is currently the favourite to win the show.

To be honest, It's kind of inevitable when you put a stunningly beautiful, intelligent superstar who knows 8 languages and is one of the most recognisable faces in world cinema in a house with someone who is oddly reminiscent of a jar of pickled pig snouts and who thinks that Albert Einstein is related to Sherlock Holmes and Mother Teresa. Something is bound to go down.

BRITBOY IS BACK!

2007-01-18T10:46:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone,

Thank you all for your kind emails and comments! I am back to posting after a rather long break! I just lost the momentum, had a lot going on and basically needed a break! Hopefully the rest will have left me renewed to blog better than I have ever blogged before!

You didn't think I had deserted you did you?

Alexx

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2006-12-24T12:47:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone!

First off, apologies to everyone for not posting in a while! I wish I could say I had abducted by a giant sea serpant and held in an underground lair but in fact I'm just plain lazy!

But I just wanted to say MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL!

There will be lots of new posts soon!

Alexx

xx

The Olsen twins are elderly!

2006-12-14T17:34:00.000-08:00

Wow, ok, so it's finally easy to tell the Olsen twins apart..primarily because one of them looks like a 70 year old woman who lives by a disused rail crossing, and the other one looks like the 70 year old woman after she has died, been buried for 12 years, bitten by a vampire, and then been dug up again...

It leave it for you to judge which one is which...

Incidentally, Lindsay Lohan showed up at the same party looking like a bloated hooker

Nicole Richie arrested!

2006-12-11T10:35:00.000-08:00

Nicole Richie was arrested at 4.45am this morning for driving under the influence of Vicodin and Marajuana!

TMZ reports "Her SUV was spotted by two motorists going the wrong way on the 134 Freeway in Burbank. The drivers called 911. When the CHP responded, Richie was stopped in the carpool lane and was alone in the vehicle. When cops approached the vehicle, Richie was on her cellphone.

Law enforcement officers tell TMZ Nicole Richie admitted she had taken Vicodin and smoked pot.

A preliminary alcohol screening device revealed that Nicole was not under the influence of alcohol."

Her booking details give her height as 5ft 1ins and a weight of 85lbs! My god! who knew such a little body could handle drugs? Surely thats like injecting a Siamese kitten with heroin and expecting it to be able to walk across a tightrope?

Not that I've ever tried.

Paris backs up Britney!

2006-12-10T09:27:00.000-08:00

Paris Hilton has come to the rescue of Britney Spears by attempting to clear up some rumours about her behaviour since the two have become friends. Paris posted this message as a Myspace bulletin:

"I told Brit I’d write a bulletin on here to try to clear some news to atleast the people who are on my list…

Lately, you’ve been seeing pics of me and Britney partying (blah blah) and she knows that some of her fans are very upset about what they call her “behavior” and sadly they’re blaming the issue on her being friends with me. Yeah, me and Brit have become really close in the past few weeks, and we’ve gone out alot in the past few nights, but I never influence anything she does, and neither does anyone else.

Brit is her own person and she deals with her own things everyday. For people to call out her parenting skills on behalf of her partying ethics is appalling. Britney loves her kids to death, and I know for a fact that it truly hurts her when she sees these cruel things being written about her.

She goes home every night to her babies and partying has not come in the way of her parenting.

Anyone who has called her out on this should really be ashamed. There are thousands of mothers out there who like to go out and have a good time. But, you do not see people out there calling them “bad parents” She’s young, and if she wants to go out and have some fun, let her. Just because she does these things does not mean she doesn’t care about her children. For the sake of Britney and her kids, be kind

Love,
Paris"

This comes in the wake of allegations made in 'In Touch' that Britney has entered a drink and drugs spiral. On November 27th Britney dined out at Dan Tana's restaurant and a source who stood next to her in the restroom stated about the contents of her bag:

"It looked like a pharmacy in there - I have never seen so many pills."

"There was a bottle of Paxil (an antidepressant) and a bottle of Xanax (for anxiety) that she took out and put on the counter."

Later that evening Brit was spotted carrying a glass of wine to her car, where she proceeded to get behind the wheel and drive to a club. Britney has also been accused of choosing to stay the night at hotels rather than go home to her two sons.

Maybe its me, maybe I've been reading too many of Lindsay Lohan's issued statements but I'm bowled over by the coherency of Paris' writing!

Although, having said that, I'm pretty amazed that she even managed to type anything on a computer without mistaking it for a toaster, falling off her chair and setting her own feet on fire.

tomFAT!

2006-12-10T09:19:00.000-08:00

It looks like Tom Cruise has been studying at the Mariah Carey school of cookery...

Where the number one rule is that lard and cream are your friends...

Lets hope that he is bulking up to play Roseanne in a new biopic..

If Victoria Beckham were a drag queen...

2006-12-06T13:15:00.000-08:00

Janet Jackson decided to turn up at the Billboard Music Awards looking like a cross between an extremely shoddy female impersonator and Victoria Beckham..I'm not quite sure what look she was going for but when you make Victoria Beckham look feminine and natural in comparison you know you went wrong somewhere..

The inspiration!

Back to Basics

2006-12-01T18:09:00.000-08:00

Last night I was lucky enough to see Christina Aguilera live at her final date in London on her Back to Basics tour.

So far the reviews I've read have been pretty mixed...either AMAZING or TERRIBLE! All I can say is that anyone who gives this tour a bad review probably thinks that Daphne and Celeste are the pinnacle of musical achievement.

If you have the chance to see this tour then definately go for it! I don't want to give too much away but the highlight for me is when she gets an audience volunteer, quite possibly the most i have ever laughed during a concert!

The Unholy Trinity!

2006-11-27T17:45:00.000-08:00

While all the other blogs, and pretty much the world, have been going crazy over Paris Hilton and Britney Spears becoming new best friends I have tried not to post about it because it reeks of such blatent desperation for publicity.

However, I couldn't hold off on posting this, the 3 most fame hungry people on the planet have united to create paparazzi heaven.

Lohan. Spears. Hilton.

Even though Lindsay recently accused Paris of pouring a drink on her at a party, stated she didn't care about Britney's divorce and even threatened to hook up with K Fed, now the 3 appear to be best friends.

Paris and Britney's friendship has resulted in Britney taking a nosedive in the style and dignity stakes after what seemed like such a promising start.

Exhibit A: Tacky Clothes and crotch flashing

Exhibit B: Bad hair extensions and boob flashing

Exhibit C: Leopard Print and yet more crotch flashing

So..fake friendships, fake fights and public nudity..all in the name of some publicity...it honestly wouldn't surpise me if these people "accidentally" fell in a giant vat of mayonnaise with their grandmother and then made out with her while spanking a horse just to get in the news...

Deja Vu?

2006-11-24T12:47:00.000-08:00

This is an amazing spoof of Beyonce's "Deja Vu" performed by Tyra Banks when Beyonce was on her show.

My favourite part is the end when she orders her drink at Coffee Bean.

Now if Beyonce had done that in the actual video it would have been a lot more successful!

Cameron's new nose!

2006-11-23T17:18:00.000-08:00

Here are the first close up pics of Cameron Diaz's new nose! She publicly announced that she would be having a nose job to correct her breathing after having broken her nose 4 times. She allegedly had the same surgeon as Ashlee Simpson.

What's the verdict? improvement or not?

IT'S HAPPENED!

2006-11-20T12:50:00.000-08:00

TomKat are one!

But some intriguing facts about the wedding are emerging...

At the time of the wedding the couple were already officially married!

According to The Daily Mail:

"Yesterday it emerged that the couple had already married in secret in America. Cruise's agent Arnold Robinson said they had 'officialised' the marriage in Los Angeles before travelling to Italy for the three-day Scientology wedding, said to have cost £5million. For some, the announcement cast a shadow on the event at Odescalchi Castle in Bracciano, near Rome. It was criticised for being a stunt to raise awareness of the Scientology religion. Local priest Father Nicola Fiorentini said: 'It wasn't a wedding at all. It was just for publicity. I can't believe such an event was allowed to take place at all.' The Church of Scientology's influence was explicit throughout the event. Cruise's best man was the church's leader David Miscavige. A Scientology adviser was thought to have been at each table at the wedding banquet."

AND ALSO (AND EVEN BETTER) TOM TOOK A MALE FRIEND ON HIS HONEYMOON WITH HIM!

Cruise decided to take his "best friend" and head of Scientology David Miscavige with him and Katie to the Maldives while all the other guests were sent home to the US!

I have nothing to say! To be honest at this point why do they bother having the pretence of marriage? Why doesn't Tom just get on a plane with his "best friend" and a trunk filled with whips and baby oil and send Katie home to make sweatshirts in his basement? I'm sure Scientology could explain that one away...

Doesn't Tom look happy in the photo? and mysteriously tall...

THE END OF THE WORLD IS NEARLY HERE!!

2006-11-17T17:12:00.000-08:00

A.K.A: THE TOMKAT WEDDING IS THIS WEEKEND!

Oh god, it's like heaven for me when Scientology celebrities get married! Everyone from Jim Carey to Jennifer Lopex and Brooke Shields have landed in Bracciano, Italy to gawp at the bride, groom and alien baby princess in the ceremony of the year!

Tom and Katie have been photographed all over Rome and have started taking baby Suri out with them!!! Is it wrong that I have a bit of a fascination with a 7 month old baby?

Trust me, one day she will be leading us all in an intergalactic war!

Katie looks amazing...

Tom looks squat and bloated...

I would quite like to nickname him "Flumpkling"...

Suri looks like she wants to escape...

And also like she is looking through my computer screen and deep into my soul...

Days of our Lohan

2006-11-17T17:00:00.000-08:00

As usual Lindsay Lohan has had an eventful few days. First, she was photographed in London minus the wrist bandage she has been wearing for the past few weeks, revealing scars on her wrist. This has provoked some media outlets to question whether Lindsay has become a victim of self harm, or even a suicide attempt.

Lohan also chose to reveal some other aspects of herself and go out AGAIN not wearing underwear, for uncensored pics visit DListed

Then she had a slightly-too-long smooch with ageing fashion designer Donna Karen at a party in London...

It was then revealed that Lindsay will star as the new face of Miu Miu, and will shoot the campaign in London this weekend.

Finally GQ listed Lindsay as their "Obsession" of the year and celebrated this with a raunchy photoshoot and interview in which Lindsay appears very sarcastic.

INTERVIEW EXTRACT:

We met Lindsay Lohan in the garden of the Chateau Marmont hotel in Hollywood. We had a margarita. She had a…beverage.

Can we tell people we’re doing this interview in the men’s room at Yankee Stadium?
Yes. And tell them that we’re dating.

Does it make you sad that celebrity magazines never write about you?
It does. I really wish they would do more. I’m trying to become friends with all the cool famous people, the ones that go to clubs all the time—try to get into those tabloids a little more.

Tell me about an average day in the life of Lindsay Lohan.
It starts out with a 5 a.m. hike through Runyon Canyon to watch the sunrise. Then I go outside, and I try to find the paparazzi. I go down to Robertson Boulevard, try and search for them, find them, and bring them food.

And then what do you do at night?
Well, of course, I’m sitting at the computer all night.

Have you ever read anything interesting about yourself on the Internet?
No. I wish they’d be clever and make something up for me.

There’s some interesting stuff about you. Irocman39 in Skokie, Illinois, says you’re the “smokinest woman on the face of the earth”—
God bless him.

—and that he wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eating saltines.
I don’t eat. Don’t you people know? It’s all about anorexia and bulimia nervosa.

After computer time, when do you go to bed?
No later than 9:30 p.m.—ever. On a good night, it’s eight fifteen.

Dear god, more happens in this girl's life than happens to me in an entire year! Trust me, she is headed for Tara Reid status faster than you can say "firecrotch".

Maybe Nicole Richie isn't fat inside after all...

2006-11-15T16:52:00.000-08:00

Nicole Richie has hit back at claims (including the ones on this website) that she may have recently had a gastric surgery bypass reversed. She stated on her official myspace page:

"So i gain a little bit of weight, and im acussed of having a gastric bypass surgery reversed? Its pathetic of Page Six to insinuate i have done this. Anyone that knows anything about this surgery would know that legally, you must be AT LEAST 100 pounds overweight to even have the surgery done, and is a serious, life changing procedure; not one to throw around as a joke or a rumor. Ive given a statement I am in the process of putting on weight, and that should be enough. Its a shame to hear that instead of hearing supportive words, someone needs to spin it into some negative, absurd way"

Nicole was later spotted at a McDonalds Drive Thru casually eating amongst throngs of paparazzi flashes.

I'm sorry but I'm not buying it, something dodgy is going on...what kind of person needs to see a nutritionist to understand how to gain weight? The way she has spoken about it you would think she was trying to discover how to fly or how to turn a piece of coal into a ferrari...gaining weight is pretty simple...you EAT.

Next maybe Nicole will teach us all how to breathe or blink...one can only hope...

This was Nicole's reaction to the gastric bypass rumours

Classy.

Nicole Richie is fat inside.

2006-11-13T11:45:00.001-08:00

I just can't get my head around Nicole's exploits. She checks herself into rehab to get help for her eating problems..except noone is allowed to say she is on rehab or speculate that she has an eating disorder. Then, after 1 night she checks herself out and goes shopping and partying as usual...and now she appears looking like she is gaining weight.

To me the only explanation is the rumour that has been circlulating in Hollywood for a while now, and was revived today by being posted as a blind item on Page 6...

That Nicole had drastic gastric bypass surgery after gaining weight in rehab..remember gastric bypass is supposed to only be used for those who are clinically obese.

Then, the weight dropped off...and kept dropping off as Nicole wasn't able to eat normal portions..hence her skeletal appearance.

Now the rumour goes that "rehab" was just a guise for her to get the operation reversed!

Well, whatever it was she is definately starting to gain some weight and look a hell of a lot better, but what a stupid thing to do to get a fat person operation when you arent even fat! Do you see me going to get operations to become more dashing or to get a mane of raven hair rivalled only by a wild mustang? No.